


burn baby burn

by pseudowoodo



Series: we will rise above the ashes [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudowoodo/pseuds/pseudowoodo
Summary: au where the fire that burns Dalton Academy to the ground in s6 happens a few years early, forcing Sebastian to finish his junior year at McKinley.s3 rewrite from 3x14 onward
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: we will rise above the ashes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831576
Comments: 62
Kudos: 151
Collections: Seblaine Week 2020





	1. my universe will never be the same

**Author's Note:**

> for Seblaine Week 2020 Day 3: Free Day
> 
> realized season 3 was missing from my collection of canon aus so am now correcting that. the plan is to do a chapter for each episode after 3x14, alternating between Sebastian and Blaine’s POVs. 
> 
> I have 3 of the 9 planned chapters written and WILL finish it eventually, but I can’t promise to do so in a timely manner, so if you don’t like reading unfinished fic maybe hold off

Sebastian cannot believe this is his life.

Over the past month he has not only been brutally confronted with the knowledge that his actions do in fact have consequences and subsequently lost the competition that had been the only thing giving him purpose in this mind numbingly boring town, but now the opulent private school that had at the very least ensured he’d spend his days in comfort has burned to the ground. Sebastian doesn’t believe in karma or any of that hippie bullshit, but it’s hard not to feel like he’s being punished.

The worst part is that he’s one of those unlucky enough to be living within the bounds of the McKinley school district and will thus be forced to finish out the rest of his junior year at a place where he is actively (and justifiably) hated. Well, he could’ve gone to the other all boys private school, St. Charles, like most of his fellow former Dalton students had, but that school is super Catholic and he’d honestly rather die.

At least if he’d ended up at Carmel he’d be able to distract himself from the indignities of public school life with preparations for a trip to Nationals. From what he’s heard, he thinks he’d do well in Vocal Adrenaline. Fat chance of being allowed anywhere near show choir at McKinley, not that he wants any more to do with the New Directions than they want to do with him.

Only three Warblers have been exiled here with him: Trent and two freshmen, Skylar and Tripp. They all flock to him their first day, trailing behind him like ducklings. They’re still wearing their uniforms and stick out like sore thumbs in this world of fluorescent lights and gum stained halls. He’d ditch them, but as he is Nice Now he can’t in good conscience abandon those so obviously unsuited to life in the real world. And alright, maybe the prospect of facing this on his own is a little daunting.

“Tomorrow you’re coming in normal clothes,” he instructs them as they make their way down the hall, drawing stares from everyone they pass.

“And abandon the blazer?” Trent admonishes, horrified. “It’s all we have left.”

“I know the prospect of choosing your own clothes is scary,” Sebastian says, voice dripping with condescension, “But the point of a uniform is to fit in. Here it just makes you stand out.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Trent demands. “What we wear says a lot about us and this uniform is synonymous with tradition and excellence.”

“Not to mention if elevates anyone who wears it to sex symbol status,” Skylar adds pompously.

Sebastian rolls his eyes, though he has to admit it was a good uniform. He’d certainly looked fantastic in it. Still, “There’s no point clinging to the past. This place isn’t Dalton. If we’re going to survive here, we have to adapt.”

“I should have known _you_ wouldn’t understand,” Trent says and Sebastian takes it as a sign of how far he’s fallen that it actually kind of stings.

“Look, there’s Blaine!” Trent says, bringing all of them to a halt. His broad face breaks out into a grin as he waves.

Blaine, who’s standing by a row of lockers talking to Kurt, freezes at the sight of them. His eyes flick to Sebastian in an uncertain, wary moment, then he gives Trent a small smile and an awkward wave back.

Kurt turns around to see what he’s looking at and pulls a hilariously pissy face.

Sebastian resists the urge to smirk and wiggle his fingers back at him. Entertaining though the results would undoubtedly be, it’s hard to be so blatant an asshole with Blaine directly in his line of sight.

For Trent, Blaine’s presence must be one of the few, if only, perks of being here, perhaps even the reason he chose to come to McKinley at all. Not so for Sebastian. All he gets from Blaine’s presence is guilt he can’t ignore anymore.

Looking at Blaine he’s forced to remember that despite his impressive string of recent bad luck, he’s been very, very fortunate in all the ways that count. Blaine could have lost an eye. Sebastian could have been expelled. Dave Karofsky could have died.

He’d had no control over any of those outcomes and yet they’d all turned out in his favor. Somehow that doesn’t make him feel better.

Blaine is a distraction, a dangerous one. If he wasn’t there, Sebastian probably would have seen them coming. As it is, his only warning is the jeering, “Welcome to public school, preppies,” before he and the other Warblers are doused in ice cold, corn syrupy slush.

There’s some scattered laughter as the brain damaged trolls who did it walk away. He opens his eyes to see Blaine staring at them in horror while Kurt tries and fails to hide his own laughter behind his hand.

Sebastian is ready to commit murder but little freshman Tripp is clearly on the verge of tears and Trent might actually be broken so he hisses, “Bathroom, now,” and gets them out of sight.

“Out,” he snaps at the bathroom’s only occupant, a scrawny kid with a jewfro and hideous glasses who flees without turning off the sink.

Sebastian grabs a fistful of paper towels and gets to work cleaning himself up, fighting off a discomfort that has nothing to do with the cold or stickiness. He wishes he could just be angry like he was in those first few seconds, like Skylar, who’s scrubbing at his jaw with undisguised fury. But he doesn’t get to have that, not when he’s thrown two slushies himself.

_you deserve this you deserve this you deserve this you-_

He’d thought it was hilarious when the Warblers had described the ridiculous hazing rituals at the school Kurt Hummel had seduced their lead soloist away to. Weaponized junk food. How midwestern.

It had sounded so silly he’d thought he had to up the ante. Rock salt plus cold equals burning so he put that in to ensure that it would hurt. In retrospect, it was an extremely fucked up thing to do, though he doesn’t think he can reasonably have been expected to anticipate the salt scratching someone’s cornea and almost costing them an eye. That had never come up in any of his internet research.

All that aside, there was clearly no need to tinker with the original recipe. He should have trusted that the practiced bullies who’d been honing their craft at McKinley for years knew what they were doing. Because this _sucks_.

He finishes wiping off his face and neck and surveys himself in the mirror. His hair is miraculously untouched and though his shirt’s unsalvageable he’s got a jacket in his locker that will cover most of the damage. All in all, it could have been worse.

Speaking of, he turns to Trent, who’s still just standing there, covered in the stuff.

“Trent, come on, get cleaned up.”

“What’s the point?” he says, looking morosely down at his blazer. “It’s ruined.”

“It’s just a blazer, Trent,” Sebastian says, struggling to hide is impatience.

“It’s not just a blazer! It’s the last surviving artifact of a place that meant so much to us and now it’s gone. Dalton is _gone_ and we’re stuck here in this uncivilized, unhygienic, unbearable place where no one has any respect for us or where we come from!” He lets out a shaky breath as he tries and fails to regain his composure, blinking back tears. “It’s just harder than I thought it would be,” he finishes.

The freshmen are looking glumly down at their own blazers and despite everything he’s said about adapting and moving on, Sebastian gets it, he really does. Dalton had been an oasis in a desert of corn and he’s going to miss it for more than the comforts it provided. But they can’t stay in this bathroom forever, and not just because of the smell.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves. Dalton may be gone, but we’re still Dalton men, with or without the blazer. We are ambitious, driven, and we are not going to let some Lima losers who are never making it out of this town keep us down. So Trent, get cleaned up and have some faith in the power of professional dry cleaning. And you two, watch each other’s backs and come to me if anyone messes with you. I will handle it.”

The freshman nod, doing an admirable job of pulling themselves together. Sebastian grabs another handful of paper towels and offers it to Trent, who takes it and begins to delicately dab at his shirtfront.

Sebastian is disgusted that he’s been reduced to giving inspirational speeches in public bathrooms like he’s a middle aged football coach but these are desperate times and pathetic though his fellow Warblers are, he’d rather have them at his back then no one at all.

Sebastian’s expectations for the public education system were not high, but when his AP Calc teacher hands out a worksheet of practice problems and then - apparently viewing the requirements of his job fulfilled - proceeds to fall asleep at his desk, even he is astounded. Beside him, Trent’s mouth falls open.

“Is he serious? He’s not even going to teach us anything? This is an outrage.”

Their classmates have already broken out into conversation around them, most not even pretending to work, so Trent’s outburst goes unnoticed.

“This entire school is an outrage,” Sebastian says, flipping his textbook open to the relevant section. A chunk of pages falls out as he does. Christ.

His eyes fall on Blaine, three rows ahead and already working diligently on his practice problems. Blaine’s a Dalton boy too after all and has been focused and prepared in each of the many classes they’ve shared so far. He is somewhat surprised Blaine’s working alone though. He recognizes two other members of the New Directions in this class - the Asian dancer and the blonde cheerleader - but none of them are sitting together. Strange. At Dalton, the Warblers always sat together in shared classes and he hadn’t even considered not sitting with Trent here, even though he strikes quite a pathetic figure in his slushie stained uniform.

On second thought, the blonde appears to be filling out her worksheet in crayon, so Blaine probably has the right idea to be working alone.

He turns his attention to his own worksheet for lack of anything better to do. They already covered this unit at Dalton so he leaves the textbook closed and does his best to tune out the chatter.

“Hey.”

It’s startling to hear Blaine’s voice so close and even more so to look up and find him just a few feet away, giving Trent an encouraging smile. He’s very pointedly not looking at Sebastian, so he takes the hint and refocuses on his worksheet, politely pretending he’s gone deaf.

“Hi,” Trent says, voice filled with wonder.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your blazer,” Blaine says. “I know how much it means to you.”

“Thank you,” Trent says, solemnly. He places a hand on his heart. “It means so much that you would say that.”

“Of course,” Blaine says. “Dalton meant a lot to me too. I can’t believe it’s just... gone.”

“It won’t always be like this though, right?” Trent asks hopefully. “I mean _you_ like it here, so it can’t be that bad. How many times have you been slushied?”

Sebastian‘s hand stills on his paper and he feels Blaine’s eyes on him.

“Just once.”

Ouch.

Trent looks absolutely horrified. “Blaine, let me just say that I am so sorry for my part in what we did to you. You know what, I’m glad my blazer got defiled. I don’t deserve to wear it.”

“Oh um, thanks, Trent. That means a lot.”

 _That means nothing to me_ , he remembers Blaine saying to his own apology at the Lima Bean. He doubts anything he can say now would mean more.

Blaine goes back to his desk and Sebastian breathes a little easier.

“You could have said something,” Trent mutters to him.

“Trent, if I ever want your advice, I will ask for it,” Sebastian reprimands. And God help him if that day ever comes.

Sebastian had resisted saying I told you so after the slushie incident but thankfully the Warblers had gotten the message and show up in normal clothes the next day. Well, for a given value of normal. Trent is still wearing a tie and there’s no excuse for Skylar’s boat shoes, but Sebastian is aware that his own wardrobe is hardly free of douche brand prep so figures it’s the best that could have been expected.

Without the obvious target of the uniform, they’re pretty much left alone, though that too has its drawbacks. There may not be any more slushies, but there also aren’t any opportunities to expand their sad little social circle. That is, until Trent decides to take matters into his own hands.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says as he arrives at their table in the cafeteria. “I was talking to Mr. Schuester. Our Glee Club auditions are set for this afternoon.”

The freshmen break out into smiles. Sebastian drops his fork. “Excuse me?”

“I know, it’s short notice, but we have an extensive repertoire. I’m sure we can adapt something for just the four of us.”

“The three of you,” Sebastian corrects.

Trent’s brow furrows. “You don’t want to audition?”

“They’re going to _Nationals_ ,” Skylar reminds him.

Sebastian shakes his head at them. “How naive do you have to be to think that the New Directions would let me in after what I did? They’re probably only allowing an audition for the chance to throw food at us.”

Tripp looks up, panicked at the thought.

“The New Directions aren’t like that,” Trent insists. “Remember? Even after what we did, they invited us to sing that Michael song with them.”

Sebastian frowns at the reminder of that particular embarrassment. But the freshmen are smiling at the memory and he’s hit with the uncomfortable thought that it’s going to happen again. The New Directions will welcome the others with open arms and come tomorrow he’ll be eating lunch alone. The worst part is, he’ll only have himself to blame.

“Fine,” he says, clipped. “Either way, your chances are better if I’m not there. I’m sure you guys’ll be great.”

“We can’t audition without you,” Trent says.

“You’re our Captain,” adds Tripp, wide-eyed.

Sebastian has that same cheesy sports movie feeling he’d had when he’d given the speech in the bathroom. He doesn’t hate it quite so much this time. But the only thing more pathetic than losing them to the New Directions would be clinging to them like a lifeline so he shakes his head. “Not anymore.”

“Well, we still need you,” Trent says. “You’re our lead soloist.”

“Congratulations, you’ve been promoted.”

“I can’t sing lead,” he says, scandalized. “My talent lies in harmonies.”

“I could do it,” Skylar says with a lift of his chin.

“I’m not leaving my fate in the hands of an untried freshman,” Trent says indignantly. He turns to Sebastian. “When we made you Captain in defiance of Warbler tradition, you promised you’d get us to Nationals. I think you owe it to us to at least try and keep that promise now.”

“Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me.”

It’s Kurt that says it, breaking the silence that falls as soon as Sebastian steps into the choir room.

It’s a far cry from the Warbler’s meeting room at Dalton, wood paneling and leather armchairs replaced by aluminum and plastic. He wrinkles his nose involuntarily, which is definitely not the best note to start out on. Whatever, it’s not like a good first impression was ever on the table anyway.

“Guys, they just lost their school,” their teacher, Schuester, reprimands. “Let’s try for a little compassion.”

“Mr. Schue, you can’t be serious,” Santana objects. “We’re not going to feel sorry for the guy who almost blinded Blaine. Baby face and the twin twinks can stay, but the meerkat gots to go.”

“Santana, whatever we may suspect, there’s no proof Sebastian intentionally did anything more than throw a slushie - something many of you in this room are guilty of as well.”

Santana opens her mouth, probably to object that there _was_ proof, but Hummel cuts her off with a glare. Sebastian has gone back and forth on whether it was kindness or stupidity that made the New Directions give him that tape back, though he’s inclined to think the latter. At the time, he’d taken it as confirmation that he could get away with anything, but now he’s sobered by the reminder of just how much he owes them and their instance on “taking the high road.” He doubts he would have had to do time in anything more serious than community service - no way would his father have let him get sent to juvie - but Dalton definitely would have expelled him and his college prospects would be shot.

So he swallows his pride, clears his throat, and says, “I know my behavior earlier this year was completely unacceptable. I have no excuses, I’d just like to say again how sorry I am, especially to you Blaine. I understand if you’re not comfortable having me here, but I hope you’ll consider giving my friends a chance. They have a lot to offer.”

Whether it was the endorsement or the fact that he called them his friends, the three Warblers at his back stand a little straighter. Trent gives him an approving nod.

“Thank you, Sebastian,” Schuester says. “And I’d just like to remind everyone that most of you are seniors and once you graduate, this club won’t have enough members to compete. We can’t afford to turn away underclassmen with show choir experience, not without giving them a fair shot.”

Sebastian raises his eyebrows, both at the idea of being short on members, a concept unheard of in the Warblers, and at being called an underclassman when he is obviously a junior. It makes him think of Blaine and he looks to him before he can stop himself. He’s startled when their eyes meet, just for a second, before Blaine looks away.

“Mr. Shue’s right,” says Finn. “Puck and I used to be huge jerks to a lot of you guys and you gave us a second chance. We should do the same for him.”

“It was pretty cool how he organized that charity thing,” Artie admits.

There are murmurs of agreement and even Santana gives a conciliatory little shrug. Strange, he hadn’t thought there was much to Finn Hudson beyond his status as Rachel Berry’s boyfriend but apparently he’s something of a leader here.

“Hello!” Hummel interjects. “I can’t believe we’re even considering this! Blaine could have _lost an eye_.”

“Kurt, you’re right,” Schuester says. “If Blaine is uncomfortable, of course we’ll respect that.”

All eyes turn to Blaine, who seems alarmed to be put on the spot. “No, I - I’m not uncomfortable,” he says, though his expression says otherwise. He looks around then nods, seeming to come to a decision. “Sebastian’s right. The Warblers have a lot to offer.”

Beside him Trent beams, but Sebastian is unsettled. Blaine’s a people pleaser - something Sebastian had thoroughly taken advantage of earlier in the year when he’d discovered Blaine had trouble ignoring any of his ‘friendly’ advances. He doesn’t like the idea that he’s still benefiting from it now.

“Alright,” Schuester says, clapping his hands together and looking so relieved that Sebastian decides it best never to mention that he’s already started his campaign to convince his parents to move into the Carmel school district for his senior year. “All in favor of letting the Warblers join?” he continues, raising his hand.

Hands raise across the choir room, some more reluctantly than others. Blaine’s hand doesn’t make it further than chest height, but it is up. Kurt’s arms remain firmly crossed.

“Well, looks like we’re agreed,” Schuester says. “Welcome, boys.”

“We don’t have to audition?” Trent asks with a frown. Sebastian could kill him.

“Oh, of course we’d love to hear -“

Sebastian is saved by the sudden interjection of Rachel Berry’s ego.

“Mr. Schue, I was supposed to do my Celine Dion medley today! We all saw them at Regionals, their talent was never in question. I think we’ve wasted enough time as it is.”

Trent does not seem pleased by this very un-Warbler-like demand for the spotlight but Sebastian is too relieved to care, the dread he’s been feeling since lunch finally dissipating. The Warblers had insisted on learning every Katy Perry song to hit the charts “just in case” and though Sebastian would have once found the idea of performing ‘The One That Got Away’ in front of Blaine and his boyfriend irresistibly hilarious, it no longer seems particularly funny or appropriate. His attempts to point this out however had been met with a confused, “But Blaine likes Katy Perry,” and he had been promptly outvoted. At the very least he’s been spared that public humiliation, though admittedly he’d have enjoyed seeing the look on Hummel’s face.

Rachel flounces to the front of the room while Sebastian and the others take the seats Finn and Puck have set up for them in the back. The idea of sitting on this hard, staticky plastic for the next hour - for the next few _months_ \- listening to Rachel Berry run through the back catalogue of every aged diva to ever hit Broadway while he tries and fails not to stare at the back of Blaine’s head is almost enough to make him wish he’d chosen Catholic school after all.

Santana catches his eye and gives him a wicked grin. “Welcome to hell,” she mouths.

Hell indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this were an actual episode of glee, Sebastian would have a scene where he walks the halls of McKinley angstily singing coldplay’s viva la vida, a song i can’t believe this show never did
> 
> next chapter will be up later this week!


	2. somebody that i used to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's brother comes to town

“I can’t believe we’re just letting him into the Glee Club,” Kurt says, stabbing his spoon into his yogurt as he glares across the cafeteria at Sebastian.

“Whatever else you can say about him, he is very talented,” Rachel counters.

“And we’ll need all the help we can get against Vocal Adrenaline,” adds Mercedes. “Besides, it’s messed up what happened to their school.”

Blaine nods his appreciation at the sentiment while Kurt scoffs.

“For all we know he burned it down himself for a chance to go to Nationals.”

“As part of a twelfth place finishing team?” Blaine says doubtfully, earning an offended gasp from Rachel. “I mean obviously we’re gonna win this year,” he continues hurriedly. “But we’re the underdogs. Not really Sebastian’s style, right?”

“I guess you’d know,” Kurt says, going back to viciously swirling his yogurt while Blaine tries to figure out what exactly he means by that.

Trent notices them staring and waves. Blaine waves back.

“What?” he asks, when Kurt gives him a Look. “We’re friends.”

“Are you? Because I don’t remember him staying to see if you were okay in that parking garage.”

It’s a good point, and the main reason Blaine hasn’t made more of an effort to spend time with Trent since he got here. Sure, he and Trent hadn’t been particularly close at Dalton, Blaine had always spent more time with the seniors, but he had thought that they, that all the Warblers, were friends. Yet when it came down to it, they’d chosen Sebastian.

That was the other reason he hasn’t spent much time with Trent: he and Sebastian were _always_ together.

It’s bizarre to Blaine that they seem close. He can’t believe they even like each other. Trent had always been so upstanding, believed so strongly in the honor of the Warblers, that Blaine can’t imagine he approves of Sebastian’s methods, and on Sebastian’s side he has several texts worth of complaints about Trent’s pedantry in the Warbler meetings from back when texting was a thing that they did. Seeing them together never fails to confuse him. Or to make him feel just a little bit lonelier.

Life at McKinley isn’t what he’d expected it to be when he transferred, with Kurt promising a built in friend group in the New Directions. Sure they’re his friends, but all these months later he still doesn’t feel like he has a place with them outside of being Kurt’s boyfriend. It’s frightening to think that he’s been here more than half a year and he still has no idea how he’s going to fit in once Kurt’s gone.

The idea of having someone like Trent who knows him as he used to be - Blaine Anderson, lead soloist of the Warblers, utterly confident in his place at the top of the school - is appealing. But Kurt’s right, Dalton is gone and the Dalton of his memory has been gone for longer. Blaine can’t keep clinging to who he used to be.

The addition of the Warblers to the New Directions is soon eclipsed by the return of Quinn Fabray, who rolls into the choir room to perform ‘I’m Still Standing’ with Artie.

“I thought she died,” Blaine overhears one of the freshmen whisper to Sebastian, who snorts.

After Glee Club, the Warblers go up to her to introduce themselves.

“We had an assembly about you at Dalton,” one of the freshmen says.

“The last Dalton assembly before the fire,” Trent adds solemnly.

“Oh, I’m...honored?” Quinn says, glancing at Blaine like he’ll be able to help her make sense of these prep school boys.

“Because God forbid a teenager do something stupid without it becoming a teachable moment,” Sebastian says.

Quinn smiles, sharper yet more genuine than all the sunshiney ones she’s been giving since she got back. “Yes, I’m familiar with that phenomenon.”

Sebastian flashes a smile in return. “Welcome back Grace Kelly. At least you survived your car crash.”

Quinn looks rather charmed as he walks away, the other Warblers trailing along behind him. It’s the closest to the old Sebastian Blaine’s seen from him yet. Since he’s arrived at McKinley he’s seemed quieter, less flippant. Not that Blaine’s been watching him or anything.

Blaine doesn’t know what to make of Sebastian.

That’s been true since he first saw him, the new boy singing with the Warblers who’d grabbed his hand and pulled him in without waiting for an introduction. And once they had met, their conversations left him flustered and confused, Sebastian paying him compliments so over the top he couldn’t possibly mean them. It had always felt more like teasing than flirting, which is why he’d been surprised when Kurt got so jealous. He’d thought Sebastian was harmless. Obviously, he’d been wrong.

Blaine knows he can be naive sometimes, but he really had thought they were friends. Despite all of Sebastian’s propositioning those first few days, their text conversations were entirely innocent, nothing he’d be ashamed to show to Kurt. Not that he ever did. It was mostly just chatting about Dalton, Sebastian asking for advice on teachers, shortcuts, blazer care - silly things that made Blaine feel like he was still there. He’d never questioned why Sebastian was asking him these things rather than someone who still went to Dalton, though he definitely should have. He also didn’t question why he was turning to Sebastian for his Dalton fix instead of any of the people he’d actually been there with. That one was harder to answer.

Sebastian had talked a lot about the Warblers, and Blaine had naturally talked about the New Directions in return, which looking back must have been the point of all those conversations in the first place. Sebastian had just been waiting for Blaine to tell him something he could use. And in hindsight it’s clear that while Sebastian had talked a lot, he hadn’t really told him anything in return. To this day, Blaine has no idea what happened to the Council or why the Warblers had been so willing to follow Sebastian in all the awful things he did.

The knowledge that he’d been used had been followed in quick succession by the slushie and for a brief time he’d had perfect clarity on his feelings toward Sebastian Smythe.

Then had come the apology, mere days after Sebastian had been blackmailing Rachel and cracking jokes about Blaine’s eye. Blaine doesn’t know why Sebastian was so affected by Karofsky’s suicide attempt, but he’d certainly followed through with his apology, actually doing something in response rather than just endlessly talking about it like everyone else. He’d admired that, shaken Sebastian’s hand after Regionals, been willing to put it all behind him. But he hadn’t counted on Sebastian suddenly appearing at his school.

Part of him expected Sebastian to act like nothing had happened, to tease and flirt and generally make himself unavoidable. But if anything, Sebastian’s the one avoiding Blaine. True, he’d joined the New Directions, but he hadn’t seemed happy about it. Blaine had gotten the impression that he was only doing it for his fellow Warblers, which in itself was surprising.

There’s still so much he doesn’t understand about Sebastian, it’s almost a relief that he doesn’t have to. Whatever his own feelings are, Kurt’s are very clear: he absolutely loathes Sebastian and that’s enough for Blaine to resolve not to have anything to do with him.

For reasons that escape Blaine’s understanding, Coach Sylvester has taken it upon herself to direct booty camp and Mr. Schue has let her. He can’t deny they could use the help - practically every member of the New Directions is on a different beat as they shamble through the basic sequence she gives them and even the ones he knows can do it aren’t bothering. Still, he doesn't think screaming insults at them is the way to get them to change.

Blaine is relatively protected by his place in the back row and his ability to actually follow the steps but it’s still extremely uncomfortable to watch Sue grab Mercedes’ phone and throw it off the stage.

“I retract all my complaints about your dance teaching,” he overhears Trent say to Sebastian.

“This choreography is as rudimentary as it gets,” complains the dark haired freshman, Blaine thinks his name is Skylar. “How are they not getting it?”

Blaine is in line with the four Warblers in the back and from what he’s seen, they executed the sequence perfectly. Hardly surprising considering how tight their performances have been since Sebastian took control.

Apparently Coach Sue agrees because after a few more runs she points at them and says, “Gays, you can go, your competence is only depressing me more.”

“For the last time, I’m not gay,” Skylar whines as they head out.

“I know, buddy,” Sebastian says, patting him on the back.

“Hey!”

Blaine whips his head around from where he’d been watching them to find Coach Sue right in his face.

“Did you not hear me? I said you could go.”

Blaine looks at Kurt, who has turned around to stare at him.

“No, I’ll stay. I can use the practice.”

The others look at him like he’s crazy.

“Dude, get out while you can,” Puck whispers urgently.

Blaine glances over his shoulder to where the Warblers have paused by the auditorium door, like they’re waiting for him. He turns away.

“I’m staying,” he says firmly.

The relief on Kurt’s face is enough to carry him through the next hour of increasingly belligerent insults. It’s worth it, all of it, for Kurt.

By the time he gets home it’s late and he’s exhausted, so much so that he doesn’t even notice his parents’ beaming faces until his mother says, “Blaine, guess who’s here!”

He hears footsteps come up behind him and an arm falls across his shoulders. “Surprise, little brother!”

“You okay?” Kurt asks at school the next day. “You seem a little preoccupied.” He turns to look at him. “It’s not Sebastian is it? Did he do something?”

“What? No,” Blaine says. For once he can honestly say he hasn’t thought about Sebastian all day. “It’s, well, my brother’s in town. He’s picking me up, taking me out to lunch.” He shrugs. He has no idea what prompted Cooper to offer - to insist really - but he’s tentatively excited. Or filled with dread. It’s hard to say.

“Blaine, that’s exciting!” Kurt says, brightening. “I finally get to meet this mysterious brother of yours, who you refuse to talk about,” he reprimands playfully. “I’m dying to know what he looks like.”

“Oh, trust me, you already know what he looks like.”

“Blainey!”

Blaine turns to find Cooper right behind him, looking larger than life in the drab halls of McKinley High.

“Hey, Coop!”

They hug, a little awkwardly, the motion unfamiliar after all this time apart.

“This your boyfriend here?” he asks as they part, looking over Blaine’s shoulder at Kurt.

Kurt’s eyes have gone wider than Blaine’s ever seen them, one hand rising to cover his mouth as Cooper takes the other one to shake. “Oh my god, you’re the guy from the freecreditratingtoday.com commercials,” he says, voice rising in pitch as he bounces up and down. “I love those commercials! The jingle is my ringtone!”

Blaine laughs because Kurt’s excitement is adorable, even as the feeling in his stomach becomes much more identifiably dread. He’d known this would happen.

Coach Sue walks by and immediately grabs Cooper away because apparently even she isn’t immune to his charm.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that was your brother!” Kurt says, eyes still on Cooper. “How many times have those commercials come on while we were watching TV together and you didn’t say _anything_.”

“Oh, well, you know,” Blaine says uncomfortably. “Kinda felt like bragging. And we’re not exactly close.”

He sees Sebastian come around the corner, stop dead in horror at the sight of Cooper signing Couch Sue’s breast in the middle of the hallway, and turn right back around. It makes him feel a little better somehow.

To Blaine’s dismay, Coach Sue convinces Cooper to come back tomorrow to teach an acting masterclass to the Glee Club. He’d hoped to limit his classmate’s exposure to his brother, and not just because he’s pretty sure Cooper is in no way qualified to teach anything. He already feels like he’s still just Kurt’s boyfriend to most of the New Directions, now he’s going to be downgraded even further to just Cooper Anderson’s brother like he had been all through his childhood.

Coach Sue gathers them during lunch to inform them of the plan, introducing Cooper to widespread applause. Cooper soaks it all up and grants them a blinding Hollywood smile in return.

Rachel notes that since the Anderson brothers are clearly both so talented they must have done some duets, which is sweet of her to say but unfortunately reminds Cooper of the old Duran Duran mash-up they used to do - a duel of Simon Le Bon impressions that Cooper always won.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, please don’t make me do that,” Blaine says, laughing to hide his discomfort.

“No, Blaine, you have to, you’re both so handsome and good,” Kurt insists.

Apparently none of the New Directions mind their lunch being cut into because they all cheer on the idea until Blaine has no choice but to join his brother in the center of the room. He takes off his sweater because if he’s going to do this he’s going to _do it_ , but immediately feels ridiculous when Cooper comments on it with a mocking, “Ooh, the cardigan’s coming off.”

They haven’t performed together in years but the steps and the arrangement are so familiar Blaine falls into them without thinking. Also familiar is the feeling that while he’s giving it his all, every eye is on Cooper instead. When they were younger he’d at least had little kid cuteness on his side, but now he’s all grown up and Cooper is still taller, still handsomer, with the new added bonus of being mildly famous as well. He knows there’s nothing he can do about it but Blaine can’t stop himself making desperate grabs for attention anyway, belting pointless ‘yeah’s and jumping up on the piano.

It’s not until he’s up there that he notices there’s one person at least who isn’t looking at Cooper at all. Sebastian Smythe is watching Blaine with a stupid big smile on his face, the one he’d had that first day when he’d pulled Blaine into ‘Uptown Girl.’ Blaine hasn’t seen it since Sebastian’s come to McKinley and for the first time, the performance starts to feel fun.

They finish to cheers and applause and Cooper thanks them with a false modest little bow before looping an arm over Blaine’s shoulders again.

“Wow, I was really great in that number.”

And just like that, any joy he'd gotten out of the performance is gone.

Cooper does take him out to lunch after even though there’s not much time left and Blaine’s definitely going to miss fifth period. They go to Breadstix, naturally, and Cooper charms the waitress into giving them free cokes with a fake Irish accent before proceeding to critique Blaine’s performance, gesturing with his breadstick as he offers nonsensical advice like “remember that the toes are the ears of the body.”

“You’re unbelievable. What are you doing?” Blaine finally bursts out.

“What?”

“All you ever do is tell me what I’m doing wrong! You waste no opportunity to remind me how much I suck at, like, everything. Remember when I was four and you criticized my balance when we were dancing to Hanson? I was basically a toddler, of course my balance sucked!”

“If that happened, I’m so sorry,” Cooper says, pointing at his chest. “But... I don’t remember it.”

“Of course you don’t.” Honestly, Blaine’s not sure why he’d brought it up other than that he thinks it’s telling that that’s the first clear memory he has of his brother.

Hey,” Cooper says, sitting up from where he’d been lounging in the corner of the booth. “Little brother, I know there’s an age difference between us but I really wanna be closer to you. I want to get to know you a little better, all right? That’s why I’m here.”

Blaine knows better than to get his hopes up, knows Cooper’s going to forget all about him again as soon as he gets back to LA, but the desperate part of him that’s always wanted his big brother to notice him, the part that still gets excited whenever he comes to town, wins out. “Yeah, no, I would love that. I - I’d like that.”

If Blaine hadn’t already known based on every interaction he’s ever had with his brother, the advice Cooper had spouted over lunch would have confirmed that he has absolutely no business teaching an acting masterclass. So it’s not totally a surprise when Cooper starts with “Don’t go to college,” and only goes downhill from there.

Either Blaine’s gone insane or everyone else has because no one but him seems to realize that Cooper has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. They’ve all been blinded by his handsomeness. A bunch of them, including Kurt, are even taking notes.

“That’s not true at all, that’s terrible advice,” he says as Cooper explains that the key to a dramatic scene is lots of pointing, mostly to test if anyone can hear him. Maybe he’s slipped into a different dimension.

He hadn’t even said it very loudly, but Cooper zeroes in on him at once. “I’m sorry, Blaine, are you an internationally beloved spokesman for the internet’s fastest growing credit score website?”

“No,” Brittany answers behind him.

“I didn’t think so. So let’s focus in, okay?”

Cooper gives them sides from his NCIS audition and selects Blaine and Rachel to do a scene. Rachel takes all of his stupid advice to heart in a manner that speaks well of her ability to take direction, if poorly of her judgement, while Blaine goes for a more natural line reading.

He’s immediately cut off by Cooper.

“No, Blaine, say that line again, but this time point your finger. Things are serious; a man in a dress is dead.”

There’s a snort of laughter hastily disguised as a cough. “Sorry,” Sebastian says, still totally failing to hide his amusement. “Please, continue.”

“I don’t really feel like pointing, Coop,” Blaine says, struggling to hide his frustration. “Just feels a little stupid.”

Cooper tries to argue that that’s a good thing and Blaine feels his composure slipping until he can’t stop himself bursting out, “You’re my brother! Can’t you just support me?”

The whole room goes quiet. Blaine cannot believe he’s shouted in front of everyone

“I’m sorry, are you talking to me right now?” Cooper asks. Blaine has a second to wonder if he’s trying to be deep or something before he continues, “Because I can’t tell if you’re talking to me if you don’t point your finger.”

The class oohs and applauds at the lesson.

“Scene,” Cooper says, clapping Blaine on the back. “Good work buddy, we’ll get ‘em next time.”

Blaine petulantly sits out Cooper’s next exercise, dubbed “The Emotion Tornado.” Not that anyone notices.

Apparently the exercise involves literally pretending to be trapped in a tornado, which sounds more like a recipe for dizziness than accessing deep emotions, but what does Blaine know. He’s not an internationally beloved commercial spokesman.

“You know, now that I’ve seen the school of acting you come from, I’m even more impressed by your performance in West Side Story.”

It’s Sebastian. Of course Mr. “I lived in Paris” would be too worldly to be taken in by Cooper.

“Thank you,” Blaine says, even though he’s not speaking to him. It’s only polite.

Sebastian watches their classmates with an incredulous grin, shaking his head. “This might just be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Glad we could entertain you,” Blaine says flatly.

He gets up to join the exercise. Everything’s a joke to Sebastian. It’s good to be reminded of that.

Cooper’s class is such a success he’s invited back to give another one the next day. He shows up early, smile somehow even wider and more gleaming than usual, surprising Blaine in the hallway with the news that he’s landed an audition for a Michael Bay movie.

“The movie’s untitled, which you know is code for Transformers 4,” he gushes as they walk.

Blaine nods. So much for getting to know each other better. Of course Cooper would drop everything for a chance to move even further out of Blaine’s reach.

‘You don’t seem very happy for me,” Cooper notes.

“Oh, I’m thrilled,” Blaine says.

“Well you’ve got a weird way of showing it. It wouldn’t kill you to smile.” He gives Blaine a once over. “It also wouldn’t kill you to stop letting Kurt pick out your clothes.”

“He - he does not,” Blaine protests. Sure, Kurt always has a lot of opinions when they go shopping together, but he’s Blaine’s boyfriend. Why wouldn’t Blaine listen to his opinions?

“Mmm. Could’ve fooled me.” He grabs Blaine’s arm and turns him so they’re facing each other. “Come on man, we’ll have our own ditch day. You can help me run lines.”

“Because it’s all about you, isn’t it?” Blaine says, shaking his head in disbelief.

Cooper gives him a look, like _duh_.

Right. Duh.

He lasts five minutes in the masterclass, where the New Directions have arranged themselves in a circle around Cooper, gazing up at him in awe, before he can’t stomach it anymore. He goes to the gym instead and takes his frustration out on a punching bag, half humming half singing Christina Aguilera’s ‘Fighter’ as he does.

“You okay?”

He looks up to see Sebastian standing at the door, looking uncertain. Good. He should be uncertain.

Blaine is not okay. He’s angry. He’s angry at Cooper for taking up all the air in every room he enters, never thinking to leave any for his little brother. At Kurt and his friends, the people who are supposed to be _Blaine’s_ friends too, giving Cooper more respect in two days then they’ve given him all year, at himself for ever expecting differently when he’d known this would happen. And at Sebastian: the one person Blaine’s allowed to be angry at, expected to be even, the one who’s here checking on him when it should be his brother or his boyfriend or literally anyone else. And so he snaps.

“You’re not allowed to ask me that. You’re not allowed to come up to me and compliment my acting and make jokes about the stupid things my brother is doing. We are not friends, okay? Friends don’t do what you did.”

Sebastian doesn’t say anything, doesn’t scoff or sneer. He just nods and turns to go. But Blaine doesn’t want him to go. He wants to keep yelling.

“You know, I was devastated when I heard what happened to Dalton,” he says, stopping Sebastian in his tracks. “I needed it to be there. I needed to know that if anything bad ever happened here, there was a place I could go where I’d be safe. But you know what, the fire didn’t take that from me. You did. Dalton was mine and you took it and _corrupted_ it. It was supposed to be safe but I could have lost an eye because of you and they did _nothing_.”

Sebastian, who’d been growing visibly more frustrated and uncomfortable, snaps back, “You’re the one who _chose_ to leave Dalton. And they didn’t do nothing, they launched a full investigation during which I lied my ass off. If they’d gotten my confession I would have been screwed.”

Blaine scoffs. “What’s the point of even saying that? Like you ever would have given them a confession.”

“Obviously not, but you could have.”

“I did! Mr. Schue called the headmaster, we explained what happened, and they believed you instead. _Everyone_ chose you instead.”

Sebastian is looking at him like he’s the one who’s not making any sense. “But what about the-“ his expression turns wary. “You’re not taping me again, are you? Because I really am sorry Blaine, but I also don’t want an assault record.”

Blaine finally sees past his anger to get that he’s missing something. “What are you talking about?”

Sebastian frowns. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

Sebastian sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He still looks wary but whether because he trusts Blaine or because he owes him, he says. “Santana Lopez got me on tape admitting I put rock salt in that slushie. Gloating, really.” He rolls his eyes. “It was so stupid.”

Blaine can’t tell if he’s referring to the slushie or the getting caught. He’d known Sebastian had admitted to putting in rock salt, Kurt had explained to him that’s what scratched his eye before going on to tell him about how when the Warblers found out they abandoned Sebastian to sing ‘Black or White’ on stage with the New Directions.

“You should have seen the look on his face,” he’d said laughing, trying to cheer Blaine up after his surgery. But he hadn’t mentioned there was proof.

“Santana got your confession on tape and what, she just didn’t do anything?”

“No, she did,” Sebastian says, looking increasingly unsettled. “Then they gave it back.”

“They?”

“The New Directions. They invited us to McKinley and sang that stupid song. Said they were ‘taking the high road’ and ‘we’d settle it at Regionals.’ They played it for the Warblers then they gave it back to me.”

It’s the same story Kurt had told him with just that one added detail. How had he not known that? How could there have been proof that what happened to him wasn’t an accident and he wasn’t even _told_? It would make more sense if Sebastian was lying; if he’d wanted to make Blaine doubt Kurt and the New Directions, he can hardly have done a better job. But the look on his face says otherwise, as does the sinking feeling in Blaine’s stomach. It’s unbelievable that they wouldn’t tell him, but the thing is, he does believe it, all too easily.

“So you have it now.”

“Well, no, I destroyed it,” Sebastian says.

Convenient, but if there was a tape then of course Sebastian wouldn’t be stupid enough to keep it around.

“Would you use it?” Sebastian asks, after a moment. “If you had it?”

Blaine has absolutely no idea what he’d do. About anything. “I can’t - can you just go?”

Sebastian nods like he got his answer and turns to leave again. This time Blaine lets him.

“Hey pint-sized. Your brother was looking for you.”

Blaine had showered quickly and is waiting for Santana by her locker when the masterclass gets out. She still mildly terrifies him but there’s no way he can confront Kurt with only Sebastian’s word to go on.

“Did you ever have a tape of Sebastian confessing to putting rock salt in that slushie?” he asks without preamble.

“What are you talking about?” Santana says and Blaine has a brief moment of hope that maybe Sebastian was lying after all before she continues, “Hummel hasn’t been claiming _he_ was the one who got it, has he? Because it was _my_ idea. I taped it to my underboob, okay? I still can’t believe you goody-two-shoes wasted my brilliance and just gave it back. Although, now that Fieval’s here I am kinda glad we didn’t turn him in. Someone needs to uphold my bitch legacy in Glee Club next year.”

She grabs her bag out of her locker and snaps it shut. “And shame on you for not spilling about your brother. I definitely would have been nicer to you if I knew you were related to someone famous.”

She leaves, ponytail swinging, and Blaine slides to the floor, leaning against the lockers. First Cooper and now this. He can’t remember ever feeling so insignificant.

He knows he has to talk to Kurt but he really doesn't want to. He can’t imagine what explanation Kurt could give that would make sense but as long as he doesn’t ask he can pretend there is one and that everything will be okay. They go through their evening routine, their morning coffee, their meet-up by the lockers between second and third period, and every time he tries to bring it up he can’t get the words out.

They’re walking to the cafeteria together, Kurt bemoaning the fact that Cooper leaving means Coach Sue will be taking over booty camp again while Blaine tries and fails to think of something to say other than “Why didn’t you tell me,” when Finn catches them in the hall.

“Hey guys, just confirming the ditch day amusement park ticket order. You’re both in, right?”

“Of course!” Kurt exclaims. “I can’t wait, it’s going to be so much fun.”

“Yeah!” Finn says, offering his hand for a high five.

“Actually, I don’t think I’m going,” Blaine interrupts. He barely knows how to talk to the New Directions as is, no way he can spend his entire day pretending to have fun with them.

“Blaine, you’re not gonna lose your 4.0 by skipping one day,” Kurt says fondly.

“Yeah dude, all the other juniors are ditching with us,” Finn says.

“I’m not really in the mood to go to an amusement park right now.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt asks. “You show up, you be amused - it’s the perfect place to go if you’re in a mood.”

Blaine shakes his head. “I’ll just bring everyone else down. Seriously, you guys have fun. Don’t even worry about me.” Shouldn’t be too hard for them.

“Well, if you’re sure...” Finn says, looking to Kurt, who’s looking at Blaine, brow furrowed.

“We’ll get back to you later,” Kurt says, before grabbing Blaine’s hand and dragging him into an empty classroom.

“Okay, what is going on with you,” he demands once they’re alone. “You’ve been super weird all day, all week, even.”

It’s the perfect opening, but Blaine can’t make himself take it. “It’s just... it’s my brother. Whenever he’s around I feel so... I mean you’ve seen him. It’s like I don’t even matter when he’s around.”

“Aw, Blaine,” Kurt says, looking almost amused. “I know I’ve been all fangirly over your brother since he got here but you have to know you’ll always be my favorite Anderson.”

Blaine tries to smile, but doesn’t quite make it. A few days ago he would have loved to hear Kurt say that but now it barely even registers. He has to ask him.

“There is something else,” he admits. “I was talking to Santana and she mentioned you guys had a tape of Sebastian confessing to tampering with the slushie?”

It comes out as a question, like there’s still a chance it isn’t true when he knows it is. He’d built it up so much in his head he’d expected some sort of dramatic reaction, some expression of shock or guilt to appear on Kurt’s face, but he just looks confused.

“Oh, yeah. What about it?”

“What about it?” Blaine repeats incredulously. “I - why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well you were in surgery and by the time you recovered it was all over. There was no point troubling you with it.”

“No point - it didn’t have to be over, Kurt. You could have waited and asked me what I wanted to do.”

“You wouldn’t have pressed charges,” Kurt says, somehow so much more certain of Blaine’s feelings than Blaine is himself.

“I would have if I lost my eye!”

Kurt’s brow furrows. “But you didn’t.”

“You didn’t know that! You said it yourself, I was in surgery. What if something had gone wrong?”

“Alright, fine!” Kurt says, frustrated. “Say we did press charges. Do you honestly think anything would have happened? Sebastian’s dad’s a State’s Attorney, he would have gotten off with a warning and gloated about it for the rest of time. This way, we got to set the terms. And we won!”

“It wouldn’t just be a warning,” Blaine protests. “Dalton would have expelled him.”

“So then he would have ended up at McKinley a few weeks early. Just in time to sabotage us for Regionals.” Kurt shakes his head. “Blaine, nothing would have changed if we used that tape. That’s why I didn’t bother you with it.”

“Okay, but you still should have asked me,” Blaine says stubbornly. “We didn’t have to give it back to him. We could have kept it.”

“For what? To blackmail him like he blackmailed Rachel? That would make us just as bad as he is.”

“Did you ever think he wouldn’t have dared blackmail Rachel if he knew we had evidence against him?”

“I’m not responsible for his actions. Whatever he chose to do, _I_ did the right thing.”

“Because that’s all that matters,” Blaine says, crossing his arms.

“No,” Kurt says, shaking his head with a sigh. “ _You’re_ all that matters. I was furious about what he did to you but I didn’t want to let that drag me down to his level. That tape wouldn’t have changed anything, so who cares?”

Blaine cares, or he would have if he’d known. He’d felt so angry and powerless in that hospital bed, so like the hospital bed he’d ended up in his freshman year. Having proof of what was done to him, a way to get back at the person who did it, even if he never used it, would have helped, he knows it would have. But maybe Kurt’s right. Nothing would have changed. Blaine’s eye is fine, they won at Regionals, and Sebastian is out of Dalton and stuck at public school. What’s there to be upset about, really? Why can’t he just put it all behind him?

He uncrosses his arms and Kurt reaches out to take his hand.

“How about we go out for lunch today, just the two of us?” Kurt suggests. “Ditch fifth period as practice for tomorrow.”

Blaine shakes his head, but smiles as he does. “I still don’t think I’m up for an amusement park. But lunch sounds good.”

Kurt loops his arm through his. “Then let’s go.”

It’s not until he’s home, alone in his room, that he realizes Kurt had never apologized. And even though he’s decided Kurt was right, it wasn’t a big deal, the thought that Kurt still doesn’t understand why he’d been upset in the first place keeps him awake long into the night.

“Hey, thanks for meeting me. I know it’s early.”

“It’s no trouble,” Trent says, dropping into the seat across from Blaine at his table at the Lima Bean. “I’ve been hoping we could hang out more now that we’re going to the same school again.”

“You’re not going to get anything?” Blaine asks, gesturing with his coffee cup at Trent’s empty hands.

“Oh, no, I don’t drink caffeine.”

Hm. This was probably why they weren’t closer at Dalton.

“Well, um, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened this year,” Blaine says. “And I was hoping you could give me some answers.” If he’s going to move on like Kurt wants, he’s going to have to settle some things first.

“Of course,” Trent says. “Anything.”

“I just - you know I loved the Warblers.”

Trent nods emphatically.

“So I guess I just don’t understand what happened. With Sebastian, and everything.”

Trent shakes his head. “The way we acted was shameful, completely against what the Warblers stood for. I can’t blame you for being confused.” He sighs. “To put it simply, we were angry. And Sebastian offered us a way to get even.”

“Get even? With me?”

“No!” Trent says, looking alarmed. “With Kurt.”

“Kurt? What did Kurt do? He was one of us.” True, Kurt had never really fit in like Blaine had hoped, but he’d come to admire that. Kurt was an individual.

Trent scoffs. “He was never one of us.” At Blaine’s incredulous look he continues, “He only came to Dalton to spy on us. Then he transferred back to the New Directions the second we lost at Regionals, which we probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t convinced you to sing that awful duet with him.”

“That duet was my idea,” Blaine protests.

“And Kurt had nothing to do with that idea?” Trent says, eyebrows raised.

“It wasn’t like that,” Blaine says, because it wasn’t. There were reasons behind everything Kurt had done last year. But now that he thinks about it, he can see how it could have looked bad to the Warblers.

“Well he was definitely responsible for stealing you away to McKinley this year,” Trent says.

“He didn’t _steal_ me. I made a choice.”

Trent nods. “You chose him over us. And it sucked.”

Blaine doesn’t know how to answer that. He’d been so caught up in Kurt, in the picture he’d painted of their life together at McKinley, he’d barely given the Warblers a second thought, even though he knew they were counting on him as their lead soloist. Of course they were upset.

He understands how it feels to not be chosen. He understands anger too.

“I’m not excusing what Sebastian did,” Trent says. “Obviously he took things too far. But that’s why we went along with it. We had this idea that if we won at Regionals we’d get you back. Or at least get back at Kurt.” He shakes his head. “I know now it wasn’t worth compromising our honor.”

“If you know what he did was wrong, why did you let him stay on the Warblers? Why are you still friends with him now?”

Trent pulls a face of what Blaine feels is rather extreme distaste. “I wouldn’t say we’re friends.”

“You’re together like, all the time,” Blaine points out.

“Well... he’s a Warbler,” Trent explains. “He may not have the appropriate principles, or understand all our traditions, but... it’s a brotherhood, you know? He understands that at least. I may not like him most of the time - he’s arrogant and dismissive and just _mean_ sometimes, for no reason - but I know that if I ever needed him, he’d be there. And for what it’s worth, I do think he’s changed.”

“Yeah. I think so too.”

Blaine hadn’t been considering much beyond his own feelings when he’d decided to ditch senior ditch day but now that he thinks about it the day will be a useful test run for next year. This is what life at McKinley will be like. No Kurt. No friends. Just Blaine.

It’s lonely, going through his morning classes without saying a word to any of his classmates, but the loneliness isn’t as unfamiliar as he’d thought it’d be. He always feels like this whenever his schedule fails to intersect with Kurt’s. Sometimes even when it does.

He stands in the cafeteria, looking between an empty table on his left and the table of Warblers on his right. He knows what Kurt would want him to choose, but Kurt isn’t here today and soon he won’t be here at all. Cooper was right about that at least: he has to stop letting Kurt make his decisions for him.

“Hey. Do you mind if I sit with you guys?”

“No, of course not!” Trent says, sliding down to make room between himself and Sebastian.

Blaine takes the space, smiling awkwardly under the stares of his four tablemates.

“Hi,” he says to the freshmen. “It’s Skylar and Tripp, right? I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced, I’m -”

“Blaine Anderson,” Tripp blurts. “We know.”

“You’re like, a legend at Dalton,” Skylar says.

Blaine looks to Sebastian, who’d said much the same thing when they’d first met.

Sebastian opens his mouth to say something, then closes it with a frown and a cock of his head.

Blaine remembers rather dramatically telling him he wasn’t allowed to talk to him and smiles sheepishly. “Sorry for yelling at you the other day. That was uncalled for.”

“You yelled at him?” Skylar says, sounding impressed.

Sebastian looks at him quizzically. “You don’t have to apologize. You have a right to be angry.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Blaine says. “But you were doing a nice thing and I shouldn’t have bit your head off. So, I’m sorry.”

Sebastian nods. “I’m sorry too.”

“I know.”

There’s a moment of silence. They’re all still staring at him. They aren’t even eating.

“Shouldn’t you be at Six Flags right now?” Sebastian asks finally.

Blaine shrugs. “Didn’t feel like it. Besides, I used to perform there. Lots of cringey memories.”

Trent nods sympathetically. “It must be so difficult for you to go to the Gap.”

“Ha! Let’s not talk about that,” Blaine says hurriedly.

“Oh, is this about that guy you got fired?” Tripp asks, eyes widening.

“Being a legend has its downsides,” Sebastian says with a grin.

“I don’t know why they got so upset,” Trent says loftily. “Your performance was amazing.”

Conversation becomes easier after that. Trent begins to wax rhapsodic about the cafeteria food at Dalton that they’ll never taste again, a pain Blaine can relate to. The freshmen sigh and interject with their lost favorites while Sebastian rolls his eyes.

“They do this every day,” he complains to Blaine, tone familiar from their old phone calls. “And it is not helping,” he tells them pointedly.

Trent looks miffed but Skylar and Tripp nod, turning the conversation over to rollercoasters, a topic that instantly divides the table.

It’s interesting, watching their dynamic. The two freshmen clearly worship Sebastian; Blaine recognizes the way they look at him from the way the junior members had looked at Blaine last year. It's strange to think that he and Sebastian occupied the same place in the Warblers. Blaine had loved the Council and respected their decisions, but now that he thinks about it, they’d never actually said no to him, even when they probably should have. Serenading an older guy at his job and changing their set list last minute to sing a duet with his new boyfriend were definitely ideas that older and wiser heads should have shut down. Maybe he really had been Captain in all but name. Sebastian had just made the position official.

Blaine and Trent have the same class after lunch so they walk over together. Blaine has missed the feeling of entering a classroom mid conversation, of having someone to sit next to and knowing exactly who he’s going to work with if there’s a group project. He’d known he was lonely here but he’d forgotten that he didn’t have to be.

Trent isn’t in his next class but Sebastian is. There’s an empty seat right next to him when Blaine enters.

There’s still so much he doesn’t know about Sebastian, though he thinks he understands him a little better than he did a week ago. But he’s not going to figure him out by avoiding him. And he wants to figure him out.

He may not know what he would have done with the tape if he’d been given the chance back then, but he does know he wouldn’t use it now, not on this Sebastian, who apologized and set up charity fundraisers and came to check on him when he disappeared from Glee Club. If he’s going to let go of the tape, he’s going to let go of all of it.

“Hey,” he says, greeting Sebastian with a smile as he takes the seat next to him.

Sebastian gives him the same quizzical look that he had at lunch. Blaine likes the idea that he’s trying to figure him out too.

“I thought you said we weren’t friends anymore,” he says finally.

The addition of ‘anymore’ makes Blaine smile. So Sebastian had thought they were friends too.

“We’re not,” he confirms. “But maybe we can be.”

Sebastian nods, smiling slowly. “Okay.”

Kurt finds him at his locker before lunch on Monday, holding a disgustingly cute little stuffed animal, a puppy with ginormous eyes.

“Rachel kept making Finn win stuffed animals for her and at the end of the day, out of the _fourteen_ she had, I confiscated this little guy to give to you,” he explains, holding the puppy up to his face and pouting. “Since there was no convincing you to come with us.”

Blaine gives him a rueful smile and Kurt lowers the puppy.

“Are you feeling any better? Get any good bonding time in with your brother this weekend?”

Blaine shakes his head. He actually is feeling better but it doesn’t have anything to do with Cooper. He’d spent all weekend avoiding him so he wouldn’t get roped into helping with his Michael Bay audition.

“Look, I get it,” Kurt says as Blaine closes his locker and they start down the hallway. “Family stuff is hard, especially between brothers. I mean Finn and I aren’t even real brothers and we pretty much disagree on everything. But I love the big lug,” he says, making Blaine smile by adopting a silly voice and shaking the puppy in his face. “And at the end of the day, we’re in each other’s corners.”

Blaine nods. Right. Brotherhood.

“He’s your only brother, Blaine,” Kurt says. “Don’t give up on that.”

“He’s the one that’s leaving,” Blaine protests, though he knows Kurt is right. If he can handle Sebastian and the Warblers and whatever had happened with that tape, he should be able to handle his brother.

“He hasn’t left yet,” Kurt says. “He’s in the auditorium.”

This stops Blaine in his tracks. “What? Why?”

“He said it was to thank Coach Sue for the opportunity but I think he’s hoping that you’ll come and talk to him.”

“I’ve tried talking to him. It doesn’t really work.”

Kurt shrugs. “Maybe talking’s not the answer. Maybe you need to show him you feel in the best, most honest way you know how.”

In other words: sing about it.

‘Somebody That I Used to Know’ is the first song that comes to his head. It’s on the radio all the time now and it never fails to make him emotional. Admittedly, some of those emotions have nothing to do with Cooper, but enough do that it rings true as he sings about the bitterness of being left behind.

And Cooper seems to get it, joining in and coming up on stage with him for the chorus.

“Best you’ve ever sounded,” Cooper says when they’re done.

It isn’t true, but of course Cooper wouldn’t know that. The only times he’s heard Blaine sing is when Blaine is singing with him. He shakes his head and begins to walk away.

“I am tough on you,” Cooper says, surprising Blaine with the admission. “This week maybe a little tougher than I should have been, and I need to apologize for that.”

That surprises Blaine even more. He stops and turns to look at his brother.

Cooper closes the distance between them. “It’s only because I see - I’ve always seen - how insanely talented you are. I want you to be as successful as you can be, Blaine, and you will be. And when I’m in the audience, watching you, I wanna be able to say that’s my kid brother up there.” He wraps an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. “I helped him get there.”

“I just think it’d help me more if you supported me instead of criticizing me all the time.”

“I’m your big brother,” Cooper protests. “It’s my job to keep you grounded. You’ve got your boyfriend to support you, and your friends. Like that guy that kept laughing at my lessons.”

“Sebastian?” Blaine says, surprised Cooper had picked him of all people out as Blaine’s friend.

“What? You’re friends, right? You were, rather rudely, talking together during my class and then I saw you two in the gym.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, when I came to find you after you didn’t come back to my masterclass. You missed a lot of great content, Blainey. Lucky for you, you’re my brother and can get my advice at any time.”

“Right, lucky me,” Blaine says, smiling. So Cooper had noticed after all. He’d come looking for him. “You know, I’m really glad we could sing together one last time before you left to go be Mr. Hollywood.”

Cooper withdraws his arm, looking awkward. “Actually, my audition got cancelled.”

“What?”

“Apparently Michael Bay decided to go in a different direction, which is industry speak for ‘thanks but we found somebody who’s better and/or hotter.'”

Even though logically he knows Cooper went to LA with ambitions higher than the world of sketchy website commercials, it still comes as a surprise to Blaine that he too could ever be made to feel not good enough. Cooper always seemed to move through life in an impenetrable bubble of handsome self-confidence that Blaine has never quite been able to replicate, much as he tries to. But maybe it had never been any more real for Cooper than it was for him.

“Okay, first of all, you don’t know that,” he tries to assure him. “And second of all, screw Optimus Prime. Those movies suck anyway.”

Cooper gives him an uncertain little smile. “Even though we don’t live in the same town and we don’t see each other all the time, we’re not just brothers, right?” he asks. “We’re friends, too?

No, they’re not. But maybe they can be.

“That’s exactly what I’ve always wanted us to be, Coop,” he says and to his embarrassment he gets a little choked up.

Cooper pulls him in for a hug, a proper one that makes Blaine feel like he’s a little kid again with the coolest big brother in the world.

“Hold on a second,” Cooper says, when Blaine tries to pull away, sounding a little choked up himself. “I just uh - I want to remember this emotion so I can use it in a scene someday.”

Blaine laughs. “You’re ridiculous.”

He ditches the rest of the day to help Cooper film an audition tape to show Michael Bay what he’s missing out on. It’s absolutely terrible, excessive pointing notwithstanding. There’s no way Cooper’s getting the part. But it’s fun anyway. It feels like a fresh start.


	3. you should be dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disco!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up, there's a small santana plot this chapter if that's a sensitive area for you right now

Sebastian’s morning calculus class brings yet another worksheet of practice problems. At least the teacher is awake this time, grading papers at his desk.

Blaine is sitting next to him, clearly off in his own little world, humming something under his breath and tapping his pencil along to a beat only he can hear. It disturbs Sebastian that he finds it endearing rather than annoying.

“What song was that?” he asks as they’re packing up at the end of the period. He asks Blaine things now.

“‘You Should Be Dancing.’ You know, from Saturday Night Fever?”

“Disco?” Trent says disapprovingly from Sebastian’s other side.

“Oh, I love that movie,” Mike Chang says, stopping as he passes by their table on his way out.

“I was actually thinking it would be fun to do for Glee Club this afternoon,” Blaine says eagerly. “Might even be good for Nationals. You guys wanna join? I could use some back up.”

“Much as I love singing with you Blaine, I don’t think that song’s in my wheelhouse,” Trent says regretfully, standing up and heading for the door.

“I’m in,” Mike says with a shrug. “We can practice in the auditorium during lunch.”

“Yeah!” Blaine says. “I’ll see you there!”

Mike leaves with a wave and Blaine turns to Sebastian.

“What about you?”

Despite the fact that he’s been sitting right next to him and was the one who started this conversation in the first place, Sebastian’s still somewhat surprised Blaine is asking him. Then again, he’s still surprised Blaine is sitting with him at all so clearly he has a lot of catching up to do. In the meantime, he’s happy to just go with it.

“Sure. Sounds fun.”

He hadn’t been sure what to expect, but it actually is fun. Mike Chang is shockingly normal and an insanely good dancer so it feels like it actually means something when he compliments Sebastian on his own dancing. Blaine has a Vision, which Mike manages to translate into something they can get down by the afternoon while Blaine draws Sebastian into plotting how they can get their hands on a giant disco ball at this late notice.

Despite the lack of practice, the number comes together really well (which from what Sebastian’s gathered is the New Directions way). He’s never gotten to perform with Blaine before, aside from background dancing in ‘Uptown Girl,’ and it’s as electric as the Warblers had promised.

Mr. Schuester looks delighted when they finish, clapping as he comes up on stage with them.

“The theme for Nationals this year is Vintage,” Blaine explains. “So we thought we needed something old but also with a lot of energy. So: disco.”

“Absolutely. I don’t know if I ever told you guys this,” Schuester says, “but back when I was in Glee Club, we took it all the way to Nationals with the pure power of unadulterated disco.”

Based on the looks on the New Directions’ faces, he has told them this. Many times.

“There’s only one problem with that idea,” Puckerman says from the audience.

“And what’s that?”

“Disco sucks!” the New Directions say in unison.

Blaine’s face falls. God, he’s wasted here.

Fortunately, Blaine does not let his classmate’s hatred of disco keep him down long.

“Guess what?” he says, sliding into his seat next to Sebastian in English the next day, brimming with excitement. “Mr. Schue was so inspired by our performance, he’s decided to do a whole Saturday Night Fever week. Coach Sue is helping; apparently she has a full scale replica of the light up dance floor from the movie.”

“What? Why?”

“Who cares, it’s awesome!” Blaine says. “He’s breaking the news to the Glee Club this afternoon and asked me to sing backup for the number he and Coach Sue are doing. I thought since you like disco too you could join.”

Sebastian would not say that he likes disco, though he doesn’t hate it like the rest of the New Directions seem to. But he does like Blaine. “Alright, traitor. Guess my reputation with the New Directions can’t get any worse.”

“They just _think_ they don’t like disco,” Blaine assures him. “They’ll learn.”

They skip lunch again to run through the number with Mr. Schuester, whose falsetto is almost enough to convince Sebastian that disco really is the blight upon the Earth everyone else seems to think it is. Thankfully, Blaine manages to take over after a single verse, doing it so cheerfully Schuester doesn’t even seem to realize a coup is happening.

“Skillfully done, Anderson, my ears thank you,” Sebastian says as they leave.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Blaine says innocently.

Coach Sylvester’s light up disco floor inexplicably does exist and has equally inexplicably appeared in the choir room, where it takes up all available floor space. Blaine’s face lights up when he sees it and he clasps his hands in delight while the rest of the New Directions look down with mixed expressions of doubt and disgust.

Schuester tries to explain how the story of Saturday Night Fever is actually _their_ story in an effort to make the choice seem relevant rather than a transparent attempt to recapture his youth. Coach Sylvester then announces that they’ll be starting with a dance off, with the winner being granted a replica of John Travolta’s tacky white suit. For some reason this actually incentivizes the New Directions, excited murmurs breaking out down the line.

“So you just want us to start dancing, like, Soul Train style?” Mercedes says.

“Actually, no. Sue and I will start us off,” Schuester says, stepping onto the dance floor. “We met with Blaine and Sebastian beforehand so they’ll come in first. Just get up when you’re ready. And _everyone_ has to participate.”

Sebastian notices Kurt sending Blaine a confused look that Blaine completely misses as he bounds up to the edge of the dance floor.

“Alright, hit it.”

Schuester starts in on ‘Night Fever,’ his falsetto no better the second time around, then turns the floor over to Blaine and Sebastian. They do the stupid 70s dance moves they’d practiced, passing lines of the song back and forth between them. Santana is the first to join them on stage, the rest of the New Directions beginning to provide backing vocals for the chorus as one by one they come up to take the spotlight. Trent, Skylar, and Tripp all go up together and do an old Warbler dance combo. Sebastian notes with amusement that Blaine has fallen into step with them.

When the song finishes, Mr. Schuester doesn’t even pretend to deliberate before announcing Santana, Mercedes, and Finn as the finalists for suit, instantly revealing the rigged nature of the contest. Apparently he’s concerned about their plans for the future or lack thereof, and assigns each of the three a song from Saturday Night Fever after which they’ll have to share their hopes and dreams.

“Do we really have time for this?” Trent asks as they file out. “Nationals are only a month away.”

“Does it matter?” replies Sebastian. He’s already resigned himself to the ridiculousness. “Let’s face it, a Nationals win was never on the table.”

Trent nods glumly. “Nick says they’ve got Jesse St. James coaching them over at Vocal Adrenaline.”

Sebastian raises his eyebrows, thoughts of spying and sabotage and inside men swirling before he reminds himself he doesn’t do that anymore. Besides, even if he could get Vocal Adrenaline out of the picture, there were still ten other teams that had beaten the New Directions last year. The biggest obstacle they face is themselves, plain and simple.

“Who’s Jesse St. James?” Tripp asks.

“He’s a show choir legend,” Trent reprimands. “His performance of Bohemian Rhapsody is the standard we all aspire to.”

“We have bigger problems than a twenty year old college dropout,” Sebastian reminds them, ignoring Trent’s offense at the description. “Blaine’s the only one who’s even tried to figure out what the hell ‘Vintage’ is supposed to mean.”

“Doo wop?” Trent suggests hopefully.

Sebastian snorts. “I think that’ll go over even worse than disco.”

“At least they’re taking booty camp more seriously now,” Skylar says, and Sebastian has to admit they are getting better now that the cheerleading coach has chilled out a bit. And the talent in the room is undeniable. If they could just pull it together they might have a shot.

Sebastian is annoyed at himself for caring at all but he can’t help it for the same reason he couldn’t help getting so invested in the Warblers; there’s just nothing else to do. He doesn't even have lacrosse to fill his time anymore. It’s too late in the year to join any sports teams here, or any other clubs really. The New Directions only let them in because they’re desperate for members and will apparently let literally anyone join. Hence the barefoot, dreadlocked, super Christian hippie Quinn Fabray had inexplicably brought into their midst. You simply did not have to confront things like that at Dalton. Poor Trent shudders every time he catches sight of him.

There’s only one other thing Sebastian has to keep him occupied and that’s Blaine Anderson, who has come to take up a truly unacceptable amount of space in his brain.

He’d thought he’d known where he stood with Blaine and had resolved to keep his distance. Every time he’d slipped up, his attempts to be friendly had been firmly rebuffed, confirming that Blaine wanted nothing to do with him.

But something happened last week when Blaine’s stupid hot brother came to town. Sebastian doesn’t know what to make of the fact that Blaine apparently had no idea the tape of his confession had ever existed. He’d seemed so shocked and upset by the revelation, yet it doesn’t seem to have affected his relationships with Kurt or the New Directions, and it definitely hasn’t turned him further against Sebastian. In fact, it seems to have done the opposite. The whole thing is just so weird.

Not that he isn’t grateful. Talking to Blaine is the highlight of his day. It had been at Dalton too, back when he’d call him before school and text him whenever he was bored in class. Sure, part of the joy back then was in knowing how jealous the other Warblers would be that he was in frequent contact with The Blaine Anderson, not to mention the thrill of piecing together everything Blaine let slip about the New Directions to form a picture of the enemy. But he’d also just been easy to talk to. Easier than anyone else he’s met since he came back to Ohio. Sebastian hadn’t really appreciated that before, but he can now that all that other stuff has been cleared away and there’s no more need to impress the Warblers or win at show choir.

He’d missed talking to Blaine. Maybe Blaine had missed talking to him too. Whatever the reason, he got a second chance and he’s not gonna throw it away this time.

“So what’s Mr. Martinez’s deal?” he asks Blaine on their way out of Spanish. It’s the kind of question he’d used to ask, back when they were friends the first time.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, he’s way too hot to be teaching here. Too competent too.”

Blaine nods sagely. “He used to be a tooth model.”

“Hm. I can see that.”

“He’s pretty new actually. Up until a few months ago, Mr. Schue was the Spanish teacher.”

“I guess that explains why he teaches history straight out of the textbook.”

“No, he did that for Spanish too,” Blaine admits. “I think people complained and so he was switched to history. Or he asked to switch because he wanted to give Mr. Martinez his job? I’m not sure how it all went down, I was out recovering from eye surgery.”

He says it so casually, as if it has nothing to do with Sebastian at all. It freezes him in his tracks as he struggles to figure out how he’s supposed to respond. That is, until he catches the sly look Blaine sends him.

“You did that on purpose,” he marvels.

Blaine gives a little shrug as he tries to suppress a self-satisfied smile. “Deer in the headlights is a good look for you.”

“Cold, Anderson,” Sebastian says, shaking his head in admiration. He likes when Blaine is mean to him. Blaine tries to be so nice to everyone, the fact he doesn’t bother with Sebastian makes him feel kinda special.

“Alright, this is me,” Blaine says, stopping by the door of his next class. “See you in English!”

“Yeah, see you.”

As he walks on he notices Kurt Hummel glaring at him from down the hall. And since Blaine’s not watching, he doesn’t resist the impulse to give him a smug smile and obnoxious little wave, though he regrets it right after. He wouldn’t put it past Kurt to outright forbid Blaine from talking to him. He wouldn’t put it past Blaine to actually do it either.

“I know it’s helping the seniors but I wish the rest of us had the chance to do more disco,” Blaine says glumly during their shared free period, which they now regularly spend in the library together.

“Is it helping?” Sebastian asks doubtfully.

Mercedes and Santana have both completed their Glee Club assignments and seem no better off for it. Mercedes already knew her dream of becoming the next Aretha Franklin would be hard if not impossible to achieve and Santana already knew that her willingness to become famous at any cost almost definitely meant she would be. Schuester, predictably, had absolutely no advice to offer either of them.

Blaine makes a face that means he agrees it’s not but is too polite to say so. “At least we’ve gotten some great performances out of it. I think people are really turning around on disco.”

“True. And that’s all that really matters, right?” Sebastian teases.

“Duh.”

They go back to their work. Blaine has basically developed an entire curriculum of independent study for the AP Calc test that he’s been kind enough to share with Sebastian and Trent given that the teacher only feels like teaching them half the time. Yesterday he’d just wheeled in a TV and played all the math scenes in Mean Girls.

Now that they aren’t talking, the conversation at the next table becomes audible.

“Listen, Britt, I totally understand how you could think that you were helping me, but you gotta take the video down,” Santana is saying.

“No way! Now that we just got your boob in the door, we can't rest,” Brittany says, oblivious to Santana’s poorly suppressed annoyance. “I came up with an idea that will make you, like, Snooki famous, but without all the blackout drinking.”

Blaine has stopped studying and is looking over at their table with concern as Brittany starts listing reality tv shows.

“What’s that about?” Sebastian whispers.

Blaine’s eyes widen. “You didn’t hear? Brittany posted their sex tape online. It’s all over the school.”

“Kinky. Did you watch it?”

“What? No!” Blaine says, wrinkling his nose. “But it sounds like she didn’t even ask Santana before posting it. That’s pretty messed up, right?”

Sebastian thinks back on what Santana had just said and and with the context, yeah. He looks back over his shoulder at their table where Brittany is getting up, dropping a kiss on Santana’s cheek as she leaves. Santana closes her textbook over something Brittany has left there, looking uncomfortable. Now that Sebastian’s paying attention, there are a lot of people staring at her, mostly guys with gross grins on their faces.

“I feel like we should say something to her,” Blaine whispers.

“Like what?” Sebastian says, turning back to face him. “Sorry your girlfriend screwed you?”

He catches Blaine’s smile at the double meaning before it’s replaced with a stern, “No, like something nice.”

“Sure, go for it.”

Blaine sends a worried look over to Santana but doesn’t get up. “It’s just... the last time I tried to make her feel better it didn’t go very well.” At Sebastian’s questioning look he continues, “After she got outed, Kurt and I sang ‘Perfect’ to her, you know, the Pink song, and she - oh, wow.” He sits back, looking at Sebastian with some alarm. “That’s the exact same look she had when we were singing.”

Sebastian had thought he’d been doing an admirable job of hiding his visceral disgust at the idea of Kurt Hummel sanctimoniously singing that song in his or any direction, but apparently not.

“Wait, this is good,” Blaine says, recovering. “You two are on like the same wavelength or something so you’ll be able to get through to her.”

“Because we’re both mean?” Sebastian says, amused.

“No,” Blaine says in a tone that definitely means yes. “You’re both...opinionated.”

“Uh huh.”

“So you’ll go talk to her?”

“No? Why would I do that?”

“Because it’d be nice. Maybe you could help her.”

Sebastian sincerely doubts that but Blaine is looking at him like he thinks he’s the kind of person who would do something just because it was nice and it reminds Sebastian that he should at least be trying to be. Even though it sucks.

“Fine. But when she starts yelling, I’m siccing her on you.”

He gets up and goes to Santana’s table, taking the seat Brittany had vacated.

“Oh god, what do you want?” she greets him.

“Just wanted to say you were great in Glee Club the other day. I mean, obviously Blaine, Chang, and I were better, but you were close.”

“In your dreams Cobra Kai. Not only did I absolutely kill it in my performance but I also provided flawless backup for my girl Mercedes. This week’s mine.”

“Like that’s hard,” Sebastian scoffs. “Blaine and I had to back up Schuester. You’re welcome for making him listenable.”

Santana concedes the point with a twitch of her lips. “Not like it matters. We all know he’s gonna give it to Finn anyway. The only reason he even gave this assignment was to live out his creepy fantasy of being Finn’s dad.”

Sebastian laughs. “I can’t believe he heard your song and thought it meant you wanted to go to law school.”

“I know! I swear, if you cut open his head, instead of a brain all you’d see would be his gross little hair curls. Not that I couldn’t rock a lady pantsuit if I wanted to.”

“Of course.”

Santana actually seems pleased, but then her smile drops, her eyes narrowing. “Why is Anderson staring at us like we’re puppies on display at the mall?”

Sebastian glances back at Blaine, who hastily pretends to be working again. Subtle.

“He thought it might help for you to talk to a guy you can be sure hasn’t jerked off to you in the past 24 hours,” he confesses.

Santana makes a face of disgust, whether at the reminder of the sex tape or Blaine’s concern he couldn’t say. Then she sits back, raising an eyebrow. “So he asked you to talk to me? And you just did it?”

Sebastian shrugs. “Yeah.”

Her eyes widen in delight. “Oh my god. You _like_ him. You’re all horny for his bambi eyes and bow ties.”

Sebastian frowns at her surprise because it’s not like he’s ever tried to hide it. Although, he had been rather aggressive in his attempts to seem like he didn’t care in the aftermath of the slushie. He must have been more convincing than he thought. Still, even though it’s not exactly a secret, he’s glad she’s talking low enough that Blaine can’t hear.

“This is hilarious. You’re totally whipped.”

“You’re one to talk,” Sebastian says, grabbing her textbook and flipping it open to reveal the lump of whatever Brittany had left there. “What the hell is that?”

“A bull testicle,” she says, defensively. “Britt thinks I should eat it to get on Fear Factor.”

Sebastian raises his eyebrows at her because really, she has absolutely no room to judge him here.

“Whatever. At least I’m actually dating Brittany. You know you have no shot, right? He’s like, pathetically in love with Hummel.”

Sebastian does know that, though he does not appreciate the reminder. “Give me two seconds and I’ll have him over here serenading you with some disco song about loving yourself,” he warns her.

She smirks. “You know what?” she says, gathering her things and standing up. “I actually do feel kinda better now. Thanks for being even lamer than I am.”

Sebastian does not appreciate that either, though he does note with some satisfaction that she throws the bull testicle in the trash on her way out. He gets up and returns to his table.

“It looked like that went well,” Blaine says, looking very proud of himself as Sebastian sits down.

“Yeah, we’re best friends now.”

Blaine shakes his head at him but smiles as he does and Sebastian feels himself smiling back despite himself. Santana’s right. He is hopeless.

Vocal Adrenaline wins their Regionals over the weekend and he gets some joyful “See you at Nationals!” texts from the Warblers who have joined them. He texts back his congratulations, surprised he doesn’t feel more jealous. Life at McKinley isn’t good by any stretch of the imagination, but he has settled into it more than he would have thought possible. Most of that is of course due to Blaine, who is unquestionably the best thing about the school.

He’s also kind of the worst.

The more time Sebastian spends with Blaine, the more he likes him, and not just in the “your boyfriend doesn’t have to know” way, but the cheesy, Taylor Swift, ‘You Belong with Me’ way. While embarrassing, that wouldn’t be a problem if there was anything he could do about it. He is, after all, Nice Now and he’s pretty sure active attempts to break up a relationship do not fall in the range of acceptable actions for being a good person or a good friend. And while he’s neutral on the good person thing, he does want to be Blaine’s friend. He doesn’t have many friends. It’s become pretty clear that Blaine doesn’t either.

Even if he could do something, morally speaking, he’s not sure how much good it would do. After all, he’s already spent several months trying to mess with their relationship to no avail. Having a crush on Blaine had been a lot more fun back then, when his boyfriend was an occasional annoyance and not a daily fact of life. Sure he has more access now, but it’s not like he can just talk to Blaine about it, not without consequences. He’s not going to mess up the best thing he has going here by introducing the topic of Kurt Hummel.

It’s therefore somewhat alarming when he stumbles into it by accident.

It happens during their free period on Monday, which they are once again spending studying together in the library.

“Turns out I’ll be doing another disco number after all,” Blaine tells him. “Finn’s finally decided what song he’s doing and I’m one of the people he asked to sing back up.”

Sebastian smiles at his excitement. “Congratulations. What’s the song?”

“More Than a Woman.’ He’s singing it to Rachel.”

“Of course. I assume she is the entirety of his plan for the future?”

“Actually, he decided to apply to The Actor’s Studio in New York.”

“Isn’t it kinda late for that?”

Blaine shrugs.

“What are your plans for the future?” Sebastian asks, curious.

“To go to NYADA with Kurt.”

Sebastian nods. He could have guessed that.

But Blaine doesn’t stop there. “Get married after we graduate, probably in New York, but it might be nice to do it here if it’s legal by then. Conquer Broadway, maybe develop a show together, then have a kid, probably with a surrogate, but I’m open to adoption. Eventually we’ll retire in Provincetown, buy a lighthouse and start an artists colony or something. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sebastian has no idea what his face is doing. He feels like he’s about to pass out. “Nothing, I was just expecting, like, what you want to major in. Not what town you plan on dying in.”

“It’s not a _real_ plan,” Blaine says, rolling his eyes. “It’s just fun to think about. It’s good to have dreams,” he finishes defensively.

“Right, yeah.”

“What?” Blaine demands.

“Nothing,” Sebastian repeats. “Sounds like a great life.”

Blaine sighs. “Just say it.”

“Say what?”

“Whatever you're obviously dying to.”

“What’s that expression? If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?”

Blaine raises his eyebrows, and gives him an incredulous little smile. “Since when have you ever let that stop you?”

Since a guy he’d been an asshole to tried to kill himself, he doesn’t say.

“Come on, I wanna hear it,” Blaine says.

Sebastian tries to think of a diplomatic way to say ‘I can’t believe you actually plan to be with Kurt fucking Hummel for the rest of your life.’

“I just think it’s interesting that all your dreams revolve around Kurt,” he says finally.

Blaine frowns. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“I’m aware.”

“Of course my plans are going to involve him.”

“Okay, but like, say Kurt doesn’t get into the most exclusive performing arts school in the country. Are you still going?”

Sebastian thinks it’s a reasonable question but Blaine looks shocked.

“I - I mean, I -” he trails off, looking uncomfortable.

Sebastian takes that as a no, even Blaine doesn't want to admit it.

“We’d still go to New York,” Blaine says finally.

“He’d still go, you mean. And then you’d follow.” He keeps his tone light, like he’s just making conversation.

“He’s graduating first, that’s just the way it is. I _want_ to go to New York, it doesn’t mean I’m following him.”

“Sorry, just, you followed him here, so I figured...” he shrugs.

“I didn’t,” Blaine insists but he deflates under Sebastian’s raised eyebrows. “I mean I - I _wanted_ to come here. And it would have happened anyway,” he says before Sebastian can point out the only reason he could have possibly wanted to be here was his boyfriend. “You ended up here too.”

“Exactly. Who could have predicted Dalton burning down? This definitely isn’t where I thought I’d be a year ago. Hell, I’d like to think I’m not the same person I was even a few months ago. Who knows where or who you and Kurt will be a year from now.”

He’s trying so hard to tread lightly, to keep their play argument from becoming a real one, but Blaine frowns anyway.

“What are you trying to say? That we’re gonna break up?”

Sebastian shrugs, like he has only a passing investment in the question, as he says, “Most high school couples do. Look at Finn and Rachel. Do you honestly think they’re gonna make it? Or will she get to New York and realize life has more to offer than Finn Hudson of Lima, Ohio?”

Blaine looks unreasonably stung by this and Sebastian doesn’t understand why until he says, “So what? Kurt’s gonna get to New York and forget all about me?” The way he says it suggests it’s not a new thought. Like Sebastian is only confirming his worst fears.

That Blaine thinks _he_ is the Finn in their relationship is absolutely astounding to Sebastian. “That’s not what I meant,” he says honestly. “It’s just, we’re seventeen. We’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet. I can’t imagine why you’d want to build your whole life around someone else when it’s just getting started.”

Blaine’s unsettled expression clears. “Well, you’ve never been in love.”

Sebastian opens his mouth for a joking objection but Blaine cuts him off. “Half hour love affairs on the dance floor don’t count.”

He closes his mouth into a grin. “Fine. I’ve never been in love. And so I couldn’t possibly understand, is that right?”

“You said it, not me.”

“Cute.”

Blaine smiles, but lets the subject drop and hardly says a word for the rest of the period. At least he doesn’t seem angry, though it can be hard to tell with Blaine. But while Blaine’s feelings are unclear, he finds himself rather cheered by the conversation. One way or another, Kurt will be going to New York after graduation, leaving Blaine behind. With Sebastian.

Like he’d said, a lot can happen in a year.

Finn gives his performance that afternoon. It turns out it’s not just Blaine singing backup - it’s all of the Glee Club couples, dancing in pairs as Finn sings.

Blaine was right, Sebastian thinks as he watches them. He doesn’t understand love. He doesn’t understand how someone as ambitious and talented as Rachel Berry could be so eager to tie herself down to a guy who has peaked in high school written all over him or how someone as take-no-shit as Santana Lopez could be gazing at Brittany like she’s the greatest thing she’s ever seen when that sex tape is still making its way around the school.

But he does understand why he can watch those couples with barely an eye roll yet has to look away at the sight of Blaine laughing as Kurt dips him. He wouldn’t call it love, but there’s no denying he’s in deeper than he should be. And there’s nothing he can do but wait. Time at least is on his side.

Too bad he’s never had much patience.


	4. it's not right, but it's okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy my 9k response to Glee, episode 3x17

“How thrilled am I for this week's assignment?” Kurt says, leaning against the lockers as Blaine loads up his bag. “I'm going to Between the Sheets to find music, I got to figure out what song I want to do. I could do ‘So Emotional,’ which was obviously written for me, or ‘One Moment in Time,’ which was... also obviously written for me.”

“Well, you can’t really go wrong,” Blaine responds, only half listening. To be honest, he’s not sure why they’re dedicating a week to Whitney Houston several months after her death when Nationals is right around the corner, but Kurt still has a shrine to her up in his locker so maybe he needs it.

“I figured I could kill two birds with one stone,” Kurt continues. “I could do one for the assignment this week and then one for my NYADA audition.”

The mention of NYADA instantly reminds Blaine of the conversation he’d had with Sebastian the other day, which he hasn’t been able to get out of his head since. _If he doesn’t get into NYADA, are you still going?_ The more Blaine thinks about it, the more he’s sure he isn’t. Whether to spare Kurt’s feelings or because he’d never cared that much about NYADA in the first place he’s not sure but neither reason is good. His boyfriend can’t be all that determines what college he goes to, right?

“You'll come with me, right?” Kurt says, looking at him expectantly.

Blaine is alarmed for a second before he figures out Kurt’s talking about the sheet music store, not college.

“Well, I can’t today.” The AP exams are coming up fast and he, Mike, Trent, and Sebastian had agreed to meet after school to do some practice tests. They’d invited Brittany too but she’d just looked at them blankly and said “What test?” Blaine’s pretty sure she’s not even supposed to be in their class.

He wonders if he should tell Kurt that Sebastian will be there. It’s not a big deal, they’re just part of the same study group so it would be weird if he brought it up like it meant something. But then, it might also be weird if he didn’t mention it, like he was trying to hide it.

It ends up not mattering, because Kurt doesn’t even ask.

“Okay,” he says with a pout. “Boo.”

Blaine wonders why it feels like he’s done something wrong.

Brittany kicks off Whitney week with ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody,’ pulling first Mike, then Blaine, then Sebastian up to dance with her before finishing the song with Santana. Blaine sees the Warblers whispering together after the performance and is gratified when Sebastian calls him over with a tilt of his head.

“Trent wants to do a Warbler number this week. You in?”

“Sure!” Blaine had been thinking of sitting this week out but Brittany’s performance was super fun and he’s excited now. “What song were guys thinking?”

“Well _I_ wanted to do ‘Love is a Contact Sport,’” Sebastian says with a grin.

“He was outvoted,” Trent says firmly. “We’re doing ‘If I Told You That.’ Unless there was something else _you_ wanted to do.”

“No, that sounds good,” Blaine says, though he’s not super familiar with either song. Based on titles alone though, it’s probably best to go with Trent. He looks over at Kurt, wondering if he should invite him to join seeing as he was once a Warbler too. But Kurt is on his phone and had seemed pretty set on a solo this week anyway, so he turns back to the group. It’s for the best. This is what Glee Club will be like once Kurt is gone.

“I’ll start working on the arrangement,” Trent is saying. “Blaine will sing lead, of course.”

“Of course,” Sebastian teases.

Trent rolls his eyes and heads out with the freshman.

“I liked him better when he was afraid of me,” Sebastian gripes, but he’s still smiling as he does.

“You know, you should really sing lead this time,” Blaine says, troubled by Trent’s assumption despite how jokingly Sebastian had responded. “You were stuck singing backup all last week, it’s your turn.”

“I don’t mind,” Sebastian says with a shrug.

“Oh, come on,” Blaine says, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “I’m sure you’re used to singing lead all the time with the Warblers.”

“Not really. Nick sang at Sectionals and Jeff was going to have a song at Regionals before we changed our set list last minute. I mean, yeah, I’m good, but not like you are.” He grins at Blaine’s surprise. “What? You didn’t think I spent all that time trying to get you to transfer back just to make you sway behind me, did you? You’re the star.”

“Was that what you were trying to do?”

“Uh, I believe I sang a whole song about it,” Sebastian points out.

Blaine shakes his head at the reminder. That performance had been so mean spiritedly flirty he doesn’t think he can be blamed for not connecting it to the question of what school he wanted to go to, even though Sebastian had asked him to come back as soon as it was over.

“I know, you don’t approve,” Sebastian says with a sigh. “Not classy enough for Blaine Anderson.”

“Not classy _at all_.”

Sebastian laughs but Blaine thinks he might look just a little embarrassed. It makes him laugh too.

He doesn’t notice right away, but after a few days it becomes clear that something’s going on with Kurt. He’s texting constantly, which in itself isn’t that unusual - he and Rachel have been in a never ending back and forth about NYADA and auditions and New York for weeks now. But Kurt never smiles like that when Rachel’s texting him. He also tends to give Blaine a running commentary on whatever Rachel’s saying, which he’s definitely not doing now, not that Blaine misses it. He hardly seems to even notice Blaine’s in the same room.

At first he thinks he’s just being paranoid, insecure after what Sebastian had said about Kurt leaving him behind. But then Kurt walks into Glee Club, buried in his phone, and doesn’t even notice the empty seat next to Blaine, taking one a couple chairs down instead. He’s texting all through the performance - Rachel’s performance. Which means he can’t be texting her. He can’t be texting _anyone_ in Glee Club since they’re all here and the only ones on their phones are Finn and Brittany, who are filming Rachel and Santana singing ‘So Emotional.’ Now that he thinks about it, Kurt hadn’t even complained once that they’d stolen his song. At least, he hadn’t complained to Blaine. Maybe whoever he’s texting has gotten a full report.

Kurt laughs as he gets another text and Blaine wracks his brain for who it could possibly be and what it might mean that he has no idea. He’s still staring at Kurt when his own phone buzzes in his pocket. His wild hope that Kurt’s noticed his worry and is immediately offering up an (undoubtedly completely reasonable) explanation is replaced by confusion.

SEBASTIAN: Am I allowed to text you now?

Blaine looks over and catches Sebastian’s eye, furrowing his brow. Why wouldn’t he be?

Sebastian shrugs and begins to type again.

SEBASTIAN: Just wanted to make sure. Wouldn’t want to risk you yelling at me again

BLAINE: Ha ha.

SEBASTIAN: I gotta be careful. I saw you with that punching bag, you could definitely beat me up if you wanted to

Blaine laughs down at his phone and realizes uncomfortably that anyone watching would think he and Kurt must be texting each other. But Kurt’s not texting him. Sebastian is. And in the wave of petty anger that follows, he sends his next text before he can second guess it.

BLAINE: Lima bean after school?

He sees Sebastian raise his eyebrows at his phone but his answer comes almost immediately.

SEBASTIAN: See you there

“So what’s up?”

They’re at a table in the Lima Bean, coffees in hand, and despite Blaine’s determination to forget about Kurt for just an hour, he can’t stop worrying. Apparently, Sebastian can tell.

“I think Kurt might be cheating on me,” he blurts before he can stop himself.

Sebastian chokes on his coffee. It’s extremely unattractive and Blaine kind of loves it.

“You think _he’s_ cheating on _you_?” he says once he’s recovered, stressing the pronouns just enough to make his surprise feel like a compliment, even though it probably shouldn’t.

“You must have noticed how much he was texting in Glee Club. Who could he have been talking to? Everyone he knows was in that room.”

“God, that’s pathetic.”

“It was weird, right?” Blaine presses, ignoring him.

“I guess? Sorry, I don’t really keep track of your boyfriend's habits.”

“You noticed enough to text me,” Blaine mutters.

Sebastian shrugs like he has no idea what Blaine’s talking about. “I was bored.”

Blaine sighs, slumping in his seat. “Do you think I’m just being paranoid?”

“I -” Sebastian looks at him incredulously, shaking his head a little. “I don’t - you know you shouldn’t be talking to me about this, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, hey, hey, you, you, I don’t like your boyfriend.”

 _No way, no way, I think you need a new one_ , Blaine’s brain supplies unhelpfully. “Okay, that’s - you haven’t even given him a chance.”

“Yeah, cause _he’s like, so whatever_ ,” Sebastian recites, laughing.

“Stop,” Blaine says, laughing too despite himself.

Sebastian looks at him speculatively. “Is that why we’re here? Are you using me to try and make him jealous?”

“No! That’s not what I’m doing.”

“It’s fine if you are,” Sebastian says, clearly not believing him. “Happy to help. I have a lot of ideas.”

Blaine shakes his head at him. “I’m the one who was jealous. It’s stupid.”

Sebastian shrugs.

“What?” Blaine asks, even though he knows he’ll regret it.

Sebastian takes his time before answering. He’s been doing more often, Blaine’s noticed.

“I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he says finally, “but I think your boyfriend’s priorities could use some work.”

Well. He had asked.

Blaine always spends afternoons when they don’t have Glee Club over at Kurt’s house and he’s relieved when Kurt sends him his first non shoe polish related text in days asking if he wants to do a Being Bobby Brown marathon when he comes over the next day.

It’s so normal, walking up the stairs together as Kurt goes on about his latest plans for his NYADA audition, then a quick scheduled makeout in his room before Kurt goes back down to grab them some food for their marathon; clearly Blaine had been worrying over nothing. They’re fine. Everything is fine.

And then Kurt’s phone buzzes. He’d left it on the bed when he’d gone downstairs and it’s right there, mere inches from Blaine’s hand. Practically taunting him.

Of course he’s not going to look at it. He’s not going to be that guy who goes through his boyfriend’s phone behind his back, no matter how tempting it may be.

It buzzes again. Probably just Rachel. Or Mercedes. If he did look, which he won’t, it would just be one of them and wouldn’t he feel so stupid and guilty for not trusting Kurt over a couple of little texts.

It buzzes again and oh my god, this is ridiculous. He snatches the phone up, not even to read it, just to see the name.

CHANDLER: When we go to New York, let's go to the front of the Plaza and reenact the end of The Way We Were

 _When we go to New York_.

He can’t count the number of times he and Kurt have said that to each other, making endless plans, blissfully ignoring the year they’d have to spend apart. That year’s gotten harder for Blaine to dismiss as graduation grows closer; he’s been terrified of Kurt going to New York, meeting someone new and forgetting all about him, no matter how much he tries to deny it, to tell himself he worries too much. Turns out he wasn’t worried enough. Kurt hadn’t even had to leave to find his replacement.

He gives in to morbid curiosity and opens Kurt’s phone so he can see all the messages. They only go back a few days, but there are dozens of them, more than Blaine and Kurt have texted each other in months. Most of them are from this Chandler guy, flirty compliments ranging from silly to sweet, with only occasional encouragement from Kurt. But it is encouragement. Kurt is flirting back.

The phrase _When we go to New York_ jumps out at him again and again and each time is like a punch to the gut.

It’s all his worst fears confirmed. Kurt leaving him behind, Kurt moving on, Kurt never really caring about him in the first place, not the way Blaine cares about him. Kurt is the love of his life. Blaine’s just Kurt’s first.

He hears Kurt coming back up the stairs, announcing, “Hey, I got the cheese plate!” but doesn’t take the opportunity to put the phone back. He’s not going to pretend they’re okay.

“Who’s Chandler?” he asks when Kurt enters.

Kurt sets the cheese plate aside. “Why are you going through my phone?” He doesn’t sound guilty or angry like Blaine had expected. He sounds hurt, like Blaine is the one who’s betrayed them.

“I'm not going through your phone. It's just that it keeps buzzing because _Chandler_ won't stop texting you.”

He starts reading off texts, getting off the bed to avoid Kurt’s grabs for his phone back.

“Why are you getting so upset?” Kurt demands. “This is all innocent.”

Blaine stares at him. How can he possibly not know? “This is _cheating_ , Kurt.”

“This is texting,” Kurt says, clearly annoyed now. “He is just a guy that I met at the music store. Nothing happened.”

Nothing yet. _When we go to New York..._

“You used to text Sebastian all the time,” Kurt continues, barging on before Blaine can say anything. “You would call him, even. And don’t think I haven’t noticed how buddy buddy you two have been recently.”

“He’s my friend,” Blaine says, finally managing to cut in. “All of those texts were family friendly and I told him from the start that I had a boyfriend. Does this guy know about me? Because it sure doesn’t seem like it.”

“He is not your friend, Blaine,” Kurt scoffs, avoiding the question. “You’re barely even a person to him, you’re just this prize he wants to take from me. ‘By the end of the year, I’ll have Blaine and Nationals trophy.’ He said that.”

Blaine doesn’t doubt he did. Sebastian said a lot of things earlier this year. Blaine honestly could not care less right now.

“This isn’t about Sebastian, this is about you. You _like_ this guy.”

Kurt sighs and sits on the bed. “I like the way he makes me feel,” he admits. “I mean, when was the last time that you complimented me or told me how special I was?”

“I transferred schools to be with you!” Blaine bursts out, the enormity of it hitting him for the first time. He’s never admitted it out loud before. “I changed my whole life! That doesn’t make you feel loved?”

Kurt just looks exasperated. “You don't know what it's like being your boyfriend, okay? You are the alpha gay, even Rachel wanted to make out with you. I used to get solos every week and - and do you know how many times I've had to sit on a stool and watch you perform?”

Kurt’s right. Blaine had no idea what a _struggle_ it was to be with him.

“Then talk to me,” he says, feeling the tears in his eyes and willing them not to fall. “Tell me that you're unhappy. But don't cheat on me.”

“I feel like I’ve taken crazy pills!” Kurt says, standing up with a hysterical laugh. He comes forward and snatches his phone out of Blaine’s hand. “I didn't cheat on you!”

“I’m really sorry if, if this made you upset,” Kurt continues, softening his voice in a clear attempt to placate him. “But, nothing happened! It’s okay!”

Blaine had latched onto the word sorry only to realize Kurt wasn’t really apologizing at all, that he _still_ doesn’t understand why Blaine’s upset. “Like you not telling me about that tape was _okay_.”

Kurt once again looks absolutely baffled. “Why is it that you seem more upset about that than about Sebastian almost blinding you in the first place?” he demands.

“Because Sebastian isn’t still going around throwing slushies at people but you are still lying to me!”

“I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you!”

“That doesn't make it okay, Kurt!” Just say you’re sorry, he pleads silently. For _once_.

But Kurt just shakes his head at him, like he cannot fathom why Blaine is reacting this way.

Blaine chokes out a laugh and leaves before Kurt can see him cry.

When he wakes up the next morning it takes a moment to remember why he feels so awful. It had taken him forever to go to sleep, replaying the argument in his head, thinking up new retorts, trying to figure out how it had all gone so wrong. Was Blaine really so negligent a boyfriend that Kurt needed to seek out affection from someone else? Sure, they’d fallen into a bit of a rut lately, but he’d thought that was the point. Soon they won’t have all these little appointments and routines anymore, aren’t they supposed to be enjoying them while they still can? Besides, _Blaine_ ’s not the one who’s so busy with graduation and audition planning that they have to schedule all their time together. Blaine’s not the one who’s leaving.

The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. How dare Kurt tell him everything is okay when he’s flirting with another guy, a guy who will apparently be in New York with him next year while Blaine is stuck in Ohio, in the school Kurt had _begged_ him to come to. And now that he’s here, Kurt resents him for getting solos, for getting Tony. Has he regretted asking him to transfer for that long? Since West Side Story back in the fall? Jokes on him, Blaine would have ended up at McKinley anyway. The thought that he and Kurt would have found themselves in the same place no matter what had actually comforted him after the fire - like it was fate. But no, they had both made choices that led them here. The wrong choices, apparently.

Kurt doesn’t like watching him perform, well too bad. Blaine knows exactly what song he wants to do for Whitney week.

Blaine sits with the Warblers at lunch, which he never does unless Kurt has other plans. They definitely notice too, all sending confused glances towards Kurt, sitting at his usual table with Rachel and Mercedes. Blaine looks over too and Kurt shakes his head at him, like he’s being ridiculous, before whispering something to Rachel.

“So...” Sebastian starts, but Blaine cuts him off before he can ask.

“Sorry guys, I’m not going to be able to join the Warbler number after all. I’ve decided to do something different.”

“What?” Trent says, brow furrowing. “We can change the song. We’re not going til tomorrow, there’s still time.”

Blaine shakes his head. “I’m going this afternoon. And I have to do it by myself.” He kind of likes the thought of having backup but considering what Kurt had said, he’s pretty sure having Sebastian at his side will undercut the point he’s trying to make. “You guys’ll be fine. Sebastian can sing lead.”

“I suppose,” Trent says with a sigh.

“Thanks, Trent,” Sebastian says, amused.

“So what song are you doing?” Tripp asks shyly.

“It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows shoot up. Blaine shakes his head at him with a sidelong glance at the others. He doesn’t want to get into it in front of everyone. Thankfully, Sebastian gets it and all he says is, “Good choice.”

“I’m sure you’ll be great,” Trent says in a glum way that makes Blaine feel kinda guilty.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. “Can you please help me convince him that we shouldn’t do the song full acapella with just the five of us? Four of us, now. I mean there’s a full band, we should take advantage of it.” Trent gives an offended gasp that Sebastian ignores. “Why is there a full band, anyway? Who are those kids?”

“I have no idea,” Blaine confesses, gratefully latching on to the subject change. “No one ever introduced them to me and at this point it’s too late to do it myself. It feels so rude to admit I don't know their names.”

Sebastian laughs and Trent takes advantage of his distraction to start arguing that to use a band would be a betrayal of their Warbler heritage.

Blaine sides with Sebastian and spends the rest of lunch debating the Warbler code, determinedly not looking back at his boyfriend.

“So I take it you were right about Kurt,” Sebastian whispers to him during English. They’re supposed to be discussing the reading but he’s pretty sure that even with no preparation either of them could pull out a better answer than the majority of their classmates if put on the spot, so he allows the negligence.

“It was a guy named Chandler he met at the sheet music store.”

“Wow.” He sounds surprised and something else as well, something he’s keeping too tight a hold on for Blaine to identify. “So what happened? Did - did you break up with him?”

“What? No!” He’d do anything to make their relationship work, which is why it hurts so much that Kurt doesn’t even seem to care that he’s ruining it. “We’re just in a fight.”

“Oh. But that song you’re doing - isn't it a break up song?”

“It’s an angry song,” Blaine protests. “I’m expressing how I feel. Trying to make him understand why I’m upset.”

“Because he cheated on you,” Sebastian says flatly.

“Well, it’s just texts so far,” Blaine explains, uncomfortable giving the same excuses Kurt had. “He didn’t actually - I mean, once he stops talking to the guy, it’ll be fine.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

There’s something in his tone that makes Blaine think Sebastian was right when he said he shouldn’t be talking about this with him.

_Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your boyfriend_

“Then I’ll be pissed,” he says, trying for a lighter tone. “Which I think the song effectively communicates.”

Sebastian looks like he wants to say more but Blaine starts talking about the reading instead he thankfully lets the subject drop.

“This song is for anyone who’s ever been cheated on,” Blaine announces in Glee Club that afternoon as the band starts up. He hears someone, he thinks it’s Trent, gasp.

“This is insane, I did not cheat on you,” Kurt says, maddeningly self-possessed as always.

The way Kurt is looking at him as he starts the song makes him feel like he _is_ crazy, like he’s making a spectacle of himself rather than a statement. Some of the New Directions send Kurt dubious looks as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head and they all join Blaine to sing along to the chorus, but most are watching him with bemusement as they do. Sure, they’re entertained by him, but they think he’s being ridiculous, just like Kurt does.

At the end, he doesn’t feel empowered like he had when listening to the song. He feels like crying. He turns and walks out before anyone can see, hoping it looks like more of a mic drop than it feels.

“Snap,” he hears Santana say as he goes, laughter in her voice.

He makes it halfway down the hall before he hears the footsteps behind him, rushing to catch up. He wants to think Kurt has finally understood, that he’s come after him to fix everything, but he’s not surprised when he turns and sees Sebastian instead. Trent is with him, radiating concern. Sebastian’s expression is harder to read.

“Blaine, are you alright?” Trent asks.

“Yeah,” he says shortly. He’s not going to cry. “I’m fine.”

Trent shakes his head. “I can’t believe him. I just - how dare he?”

His utter indignation makes Blaine feel a little better, even more so when Sebastian catches his eye with amusement at Trent’s continued sputtering. For a second, he wishes it was just the two of them, which is stupid. It’s nice that Trent is worried about him and if Sebastian had followed him out by himself then people would have thought... well, Kurt would have been furious.

“I wish you would have let us help with the song,” Trent is saying. “Not that you needed it, of course.”

“You were great,” Sebastian agrees.

“Thanks.” The Warblers never minded watching him perform, he thinks bitterly, not even Sebastian, who also used to get solos every week.

He must be doing a terrible job at hiding his misery because they’re both looking worried.

“Nice as this hallway is, how about we get out of here,” Sebastian suggests. “Lima Bean?”

Blaine shakes his head. “I think I’m just gonna go home. Thank you guys for coming to check on me though. I really appreciate it.” It sounds weak to his own ears even though he really does mean it.

“You will be okay, right?” Trent asks anxiously.

“Of course he will,” Sebastian answers. “He just sang a whole song about it.”

Blaine can’t help returning his smile. He wishes he believed the words he sang more than he does. _I’d rather be alone than unhappy_. But then, he thinks as he waves goodbye to Trent and Sebastian, he isn’t quite alone after all.

Blaine doesn’t know what he was expecting to happen after his performance. It seems silly now that he’d ever thought it would make Kurt apologize but he thought he’d say _something_. The ball’s in his court now after all, Blaine’s made his feelings clear. But there’s nothing, not even a text, and as the evening goes on, Blaine can’t help wondering if Kurt’s doing the same thing he is: waiting for his boyfriend to call.

Had he overreacted? Maybe Kurt was right and texting just wasn’t a big deal. He’d never asked Blaine to stop texting Sebastian, even though he’d made it clear he didn’t like it. And though Blaine maintains that those texts were different, he has to admit none of things Chandler had sent were anywhere near as bad as some of the stuff Sebastian had said to his face when they’d first met. But that was before Sebastian had known Blaine had a boyfriend, which Blaine had told him during their very first, well okay second, conversation. He’d backed off after that, at least when he was talking to Blaine. According to Kurt, he’d continued to be provocative when Blaine was out of earshot, but Kurt was obviously biased and probably exaggerating.

In any case, Blaine was never going to _do_ anything with Sebastian, so maybe it had been unfair to assume Kurt would ever really do anything with Chandler. He’s been so stressed and paranoid about Kurt going to New York that he’d seen those words in the texts and lost his mind. But if that’s true, if Chandler was never really the problem, then he doesn’t have any solutions.

Even if he addresses every one of Kurt’s criticisms, does everything in his power to mold himself to Kurt’s specifications, that won’t stop him from leaving at the end of the year. And if Kurt’s not getting enough from Blaine now, there’s no way he’ll be able to satisfy him from hundreds of miles away, no matter how many compliments he texts him. Kurt’s not even gone yet and Blaine is already living in fear of the day he calls to say, “This isn’t working.” Or maybe he won’t even bother, he’ll just stop calling altogether. Like he’s doing now.

Blaine’s phone rings a few hours after he’s gone to bed, though he wasn’t even close to sleeping. He scrambles for it in the dark and his heart sinks when he turns it over to see not Kurt’s name, but Cooper’s. He should have known his brother would be the only one calling so late - he always forgets about the time difference.

Cooper has taken to regularly calling Blaine after their little heart to heart when he’d come to visit. It’s not on any schedule that Blaine can determine and he fully expects the calls to have tapered off by the summer, but he appreciates his brother trying. He’ll ramble on about the auditions he’s getting and which famous person he’s rubbed elbows with (or more likely glimpsed across a crowded room) before conscientiously asking, “And what’s going on with _you_ , little brother?” always sounding rather proud of himself for remembering.

Blaine usually just fills him in on whatever the Glee Club is doing, but right now there’s only one thing on his mind. “Kurt and I are in a fight.”

When Cooper responds it’s in the cadence of what Blaine believes is supposed to be a supportive sitcom dad. “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that, Champ. What happened?”

“He was texting another guy and I got upset,” Blaine says dismissively, already regretting opening up this conversation.

“What other guy?” Cooper says, sounding comfortingly offended on his behalf.

“Just some guy he met at the sheet music store. He’s going to New York next year too, so I guess they had a lot to talk about,” he adds, unable to hide his bitterness.

“New York is for losers,” Cooper declares. “I’ve always said it. Once you graduate, you’re coming out to LA with me.”

Blaine’s about to scoff at the idea when some traitorous part of him thinks, _Why not?_ If Kurt does break up with him for New York or someone in it, Blaine’s not obligated to follow him. He could go to LA, or Chicago, or London, or anywhere. He remembers Sebastian’s incredulity at the life plan he and Kurt had mapped out together and for the first time he understands it. Even if he does lose the love of his life, there are other lives he hasn’t even considered. “Yeah, maybe I will.”

“Really?” Cooper says, actually sounding pleased. “Hey, we could be roommates! That’d be cool, right?”

“Oh come on, you don’t want your little brother hanging around all the time.”

“Sure I do, you’re the coolest kid I know. I can’t wait to show you off.”

Blaine laughs a little, surprised by how much better he feels. “Thanks, Coop.”

“And hey, don’t let the boyfriend get you down. He’s not worth it.”

Blaine appreciates the sentiment, even if he can’t agree. Kurt has to be worth it, worth the transfer and the loneliness and the fighting, otherwise what was it all for?

Kurt fails to seek him out at school the next morning, killing Blaine’s hope that he was just waiting for a chance to talk things through in person. Of course, if he wants to talk to Kurt he could just do it himself, but he stubbornly feels like he shouldn’t have to. Kurt’s the one who did something wrong, Blaine can’t go crawling back to him without getting something in return first. Besides, Kurt has to talk to him eventually. He wouldn’t let their relationship just die like that, would he?

If Kurt doesn’t say anything today, no, by the end of the week, then Blaine will talk to him. He’ll explain how he’s been feeling about New York and NYADA and why he’d freaked out so badly about Chandler. And if after that Kurt still doesn’t apologize... but he will, so Blaine doesn't have to think about that.

The Warblers spend lunch in the auditorium to practice their Whitney song for that afternoon, inviting Blaine to join them and give feedback. It’s a fun number and Sebastian does a great job with it, flirty and lighthearted where Blaine would have been more earnest. It works though; Blaine’s always been charmed by how happy Sebastian looks when he’s performing and he finds himself laughing and clapping along, forgetting about Kurt for the first time all day.

“That was amazing!” he tells them when they’re finished. “You guys are gonna kill it.”

“We’d be even better if you joined,” Trent says hopefully. “It’s not too late.”

“I’d rather enjoy the show. But next time, for sure.”

“We’re gonna hold you to that,” Sebastian warns. “Come on, let’s run it through again.”

Blaine hadn’t realized Kurt’s performance was also set for that afternoon. The band starts up and he’s surprised to hear not ‘One Moment in Time’ but the opening notes of ‘I Have Nothing’ instead.

Kurt begins the song with his eyes cast down and it's a shock when he finally looks up to stare right at Blaine, just as he sings, _I’ll never change my colors for you_. Mike turns in his seat to look at him, like he’s making sure he gets it, and Blaine gives him an annoyed look back. Yes, he gets it. Of course Kurt would respond to Blaine’s song with a song of his own. He feels so stupid for not seeing it coming.

Blaine’s always wanted to be serenaded. He’s had silly fantasies of Kurt taking him out to the McKinley courtyard and singing to him on the steps, like Blaine’s done for him. Though maybe Kurt hadn’t enjoyed that as much as Blaine thought he did. But Blaine would love to sit on a stool and watch Kurt perform a song just for him. It’s one of the most romantic things he can think of. And Kurt is such a beautiful singer. Watching him now, Blaine’s reminded of the first time he saw him, _really_ saw him, when he sang ‘Blackbird’ at Dalton and he’d thought, “Oh. It’s you.”

This should be everything he wanted. The song is clear; Kurt isn’t giving up on their relationship like Blaine had feared, he doesn’t want to lose him. But listening to the lyrics, searching for meaning in every line, it also becomes clear that the song is not an apology. It’s an ultimatum. _I don’t want to go where you won’t follow_. He may not want to, but he will.

He remembers Sebastian’s assumption he’d just follow Kurt wherever he went and his own insistence to the contrary. But it seems Sebastian was right after all; his only options are to follow Kurt in whatever he does or to lose him altogether. The first strikes him as wrong but the second feels impossible. Emotion is cracking through Kurt’s face as he sings, daring Blaine to leave him, and he feels his own eyes welling with tears. No one has the power to move him like Kurt does. No one has ever made him feel this way. How can he turn his back on that?

He claps along with everyone else, trying to sort through his feelings and get them under control. It wasn’t an apology, he reminds himself. It wasn’t an admission he’d done wrong in texting Chandler, or a promise he’d stop. It wasn’t enough. But Kurt still wants him. They’ll talk it out. They’ll be fine.

The Warbler’s take the floor and Blaine pulls himself together to enjoy their performance. Kurt had been amazing but very intense and the club is clearly glad for the change of pace, cheering them on as they get going. It’s the Warblers first showcase and he loves seeing them be accepted by the New Directions.

It’s not long before the mood in the room begins to change however and Blaine catches people sending him the same sidelong looks they had during Kurt’s performance. Mike even turns around in his seat again, raising his eyebrows. Blaine shakes his head at him in confusion.

Admittedly, while Sebastian is working the room, he is quite clearly singing _to_ Blaine, but that hardly means anything. Blaine’s his friend and had been giving them feedback. And sure, his performance is flirty but the song is, well now that he’s thinking about it, it’s about asking your friend what they’d say if you told them you loved them. But Sebastian didn't choose it, he hadn't even planned on singing it. With a sinking heart, Blaine realizes that no one else knows that and there’s no reason for them not to take the song at face value. Sebastian catches his eye and winks, which does not help.

Kurt is sitting in the front row and Blaine’s in the back so he can’t see his face, but he knows from the stiffness of his shoulders exactly what his expression is: the same stony fury he’d had the last time Sebastian had sung to Blaine.

The Warblers finish to scattered applause and the club is dismissed for the day. Kurt sweeps out of the choir room without a backwards glance before Blaine can even leave his seat.

“I gotta say, I am loving this gay love triangle,” Santana says to muffled laughter as she and Brittany head out.

“I like the songs, but the plot’s confusing,” Brittany responds. “Kurt cheated on Blaine Warbler with Warbler Sebastian?”

“No, no, that was some random fourth guy. Blaine got mad about it, so Sebbers took the chance to make his move.”

“But aren’t the Warblers all brothers? That’s incest.”

With that, their conversation thankfully moves out of Blaine’s earshot. He doesn’t think he could take much more embarrassment.

Fuming, he corners Sebastian by his locker as he’s packing up.

“Why did you do that?” he demands.

“Do what?”

“Don’t play dumb. That song.”

Sebastian gives him a quizzical look. “What was wrong with it? I sang it just like I did in rehearsal and you didn’t have a problem with it then.”

“It’s different. Of course you were singing to me when I was the only one there, but you didn’t have to do it like that in front of everyone.” Sebastian infuriatingly continues to look politely confused and Blaine gives an exasperated sigh. “Come on, you knew it would annoy Kurt.”

“Well, his song annoyed me, so, fair’s fair.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Blaine says. “You know things are rough between us right now and this is only going to make things worse.”

“Really? Great.”

Blaine crosses his arms. “I know you don’t like him, but we can’t keep being friends if you’re gonna deliberately antagonize him.”

“It’s just a song, Blaine. You’re the one who asked me to sing it in the first place.”

It’s a fair point, but just because Sebastian didn’t engineer the situation doesn’t mean he hadn’t taken advantage of it. “It’s never just a song.”

“Alright, fine,” Sebastian says, closing his locker and turning fully to face him as he recites, “If I told you that I like you, what would you say?”

Blaine shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. “I’d say I have a boyfriend.”

“And I’d say you should dump him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“And what, you do?” Blaine says. It comes out scathing in his discomfort.

Sebastian’s face goes blank. “No.” He takes a step back; Blaine hadn’t even realized how close he’d gotten. “Like I said, it's just a song. I didn’t even want to do it.”

“Right,” Blaine says, unsettled. “I didn’t mean - it’s not your fault Kurt and I are having problems.”

“It’s not yours either,” Sebastian says simply.

“Yeah.” It’s only in how untrue it feels that Blaine realizes that he’d half convinced himself it _was_ his fault, for being distant, or clingy, too much, or not enough.

“We’re okay, right?” Sebastian asks, his uncertainty softening Blaine’s remaining resentment over the inevitable fallout with Kurt.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Blaine says, reassuring him with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Blaine had decided to give Kurt a day to cool off before approaching him to explain what had happened with the Warbler performance and finally have a real discussion about their relationship and so is surprised when Kurt texts the next morning asking to meet during lunch. He’s even more surprised when he sets the meeting in Miss Pillsbury’s office.

“I'm a little confused as to what we're doing here,” he confesses, looking between Kurt and Miss Pillsbury, who’s watching them anxiously from across her desk.

“Well, um, Kurt said that you two might need a little couple's counseling.”

“Are you qualified for that?”

“Not really,” she admits. “Or at all. But Sam and Mercedes came to talk to me, and you know, I - I think they found it pretty helpful.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure they broke up...”

She takes this in stride, breezing right past his objections to start doling out advice. “Brutal honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship,” she begins. “I want you to feel like this is a safe space for you to air your differences.”

Kurt nods and Blaine tries to swallow his annoyance. He’s been mentally preparing for this conversation all week and does not appreciate Kurt introducing a third party to sit in judgement of them. But he’s willing to give it a try.

“Okay, well, uh, first, Kurt has been texting this guy and I got really upset.”

Beside him, Kurt gives an annoyed little sigh and in the spirit of fairness Blaine changes track to admit, “Although, a while back, I was sort of doing the same thing. But it wasn't-”

“A while back?” Kurt interrupts. “He’s still hanging out with him all the time and to be clear, this is the guy who _almost blinded him_.”

“It was an accident,” Blaine protests.

“Right, he ‘accidentally’ hit you when he was _trying_ to hit me.”

“Yeah, okay, I’m not asking you to like him. But can’t you just accept that we’re friends?”

“I’m sorry, but if we’re being honest, I’m not comfortable with you being friends with the guy who put you in the hospital and sings flirty songs at you right in front of me.” He looks to Miss Pillsbury for back up but Blaine jumps in before she can say anything.

“Well, maybe I’m not comfortable with you being friends with the guy who assaulted you and made you so scared you transferred schools then sent you tons of gifts and asked you out on Valentine’s Day while I was out recovering from surgery,” he says all in a rush. “But I never said anything because I trusted you and knew it wasn’t my place.”

Kurt looks shocked and more than a little angry. “That’s a completely different situation. Dave _needs_ a friend.”

“That doesn’t make him your responsibility.” Kurt has the forbidding, defensive look he gets whenever anyone brings up Dave Karofsky so Blaine hurriedly adds, “But if you want to be his friend, that’s fine. Like I said, it’s not my place.”

“I _occasionally_ talk to Dave on the phone,” he says slowly, like Blaine’s in danger of misunderstanding. “Sebastian is here all the time.”

“Because he goes to school here! We’re in the same classes and have the same friends, I can’t just ignore him.”

“You don’t _want_ to ignore him.”

“No, I don’t. Because we’re _friends_.”

“A friend who’s constantly hitting on you?”

“He is not.” Kurt looks ready to list examples, so Blaine corrects, “Not constantly. And when he does it’s not - it’s not serious.”

Kurt scoffs. “Blaine, you cannot be that naive.”

“God, this isn’t about Sebastian!” Blaine bursts out, frustrated. “We’re supposed to be talking about us.”

“Yes!” Miss Pillsbury says. She’d been looking rather hopelessly lost and seems eager to be helpful again. “Why don’t you leave other people out of it and discuss what issues you have with each other?”

“Alright,” Kurt says, seeming determined to commit to the counseling nonsense. “I worry that Blaine and I have become like an old married couple. A fabulous one, yes, but I’m not feeling the excitement that I used to.”

“Well, that’s normal in a long term relationship,” Miss Pillsbury assures him. “You just have to find little ways to keep things fun! I mean in my relationship - well, I probably shouldn’t discuss that with you, but you get the idea.”

“Like, Blaine could text me compliments every once in a while,” Kurt says pointedly.

“Exactly!” Miss Pillsbury says, looking quite pleased with how well they’re doing.

Blaine would like to believe it really is that simple, that all he has to do is be more demonstrative and send more flirty texts and everything will be fine. But does Kurt really think that’s the extent of their problems? Blaine has lots of petty little complaints of his own, but he knows getting Kurt to stop snapping his fingers at waitstaff and slipping bronzer into his moisturizer isn’t going to fix anything. Kurt still hasn’t apologized, still doesn’t understand, and this is Blaine’s last chance to make him. “You know what, while we’re being brutally honest, I have something to say too.”

“I am actively listening,” Kurt says sanctimoniously and Miss Pillsbury gives him an approving little nod.

“I don't like that with every conversation, we end up always talking about NYADA,” Blaine says and is gratified when the patient expression Kurt’s been humoring him with drops in surprise. “What song you're gonna sing, what outfit you're gonna wear to your callback, how amazing New York is, and it’s like New York is the only thing we talk about now, Kurt, and it's like... it's like you can't even wait to get out of here.” His voice is starting to crack and maybe that’s why he’s never said any of this before, because he knew he’d never get through it without crying. “How's that supposed to make me feel?”

Kurt looks away and Blaine continues, “In a few months, you're gonna be gone. With this brand-new life, these brand-new friends, this brand-new everything, and I'm gonna be right here. By myself.” He looks down at his hands. “I’m sorry I’ve been distant and putting all this time into new friends, but I'm just... trying to practice what life is going to be like without you. You're the love of my life, Kurt. And I'm pissed off that I have to learn, for the next year, what being alone is gonna be like.”

“But you're not gonna be alone,” Kurt says, leaning over to grab Blaine’s hand, and when he meets his eyes, filled with love and concern, Blaine thinks that he finally gets it. “I’m gonna Skype you every day, and you're gonna come visit me in New York every weekend as far as I'm concerned. But I promise, you aren't gonna lose me.”

Blaine wants to believe that more than anything. It’s the lie every high school couple believes when they graduate even though they know, as on some level Kurt must know, it isn’t true. “You can’t promise that, Kurt. You’re gonna get there and there will be so many new people and new experiences, you won’t have time for me.”

“I’ll make time.”

“We barely have time now,” Blaine points out.

“We’ll make it work,” Kurt insists.

“How?”

Kurt shakes his head, getting annoyed. “I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. What do you want me to say?”

And Blaine realizes he doesn't know. There isn’t anything Kurt can say, no magic words that will make everything okay. Kurt’s path is set and he’s never going to understand how it feels to be left behind and expected to follow, just like he’s never going to truly apologize. Their relationship is a time bomb and even if the explosion leaves Kurt with nothing, in the end he’ll walk away unharmed while Blaine’s heart is blown to smithereens. He’s been dreading the blast for months now and he can either spend his senior year doing the same or he can get it over with and blow it up himself.

He suddenly knows how this conversation is going to end. He thinks on some level he’s known ever since he saw those texts and all the misery of the past few days has just been him coming to terms with it. Tears are already threatening to spill over and he can’t do this in front of an audience, he can’t.

“Could you give us a minute please?” he asks Miss Pillsbury, horrified by how choked up he sounds.

“Oh, um -“

“Blaine, don’t be ridiculous,” Kurt says. “This is her office.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Miss Pillsbury says, standing up and giving them an encouraging smile. “Just let me know when you’re done.” She gives Blaine a tentative pat on the shoulder as she passes, closing the door behind her.

Kurt watches her go then turns back to him in disbelief, withdrawing his hands from Blaine’s as he sits back. “Okay, what is going on?”

“Kurt, I...” Now that he’s here he doesn’t know if he can do it. The words get stuck in his throat as Kurt’s face begins to blur through the tears.

“Oh my god. Are you - are you breaking up with me?”

He can’t bring himself to say yes but he doesn’t have to - anything but an immediate no is an answer in itself.

Kurt’s eyes widen. “Oh my god.”

“I just think -“ Blaine says, struggling to get it out. “I just think we shouldn’t drag it out, you know? You can go to New York and not worry about me and I can get used to being here without you and then maybe - maybe next year... if I go to New York too, we can - ”

“ _If_ you go to New York?” Kurt repeats, voice rising in pitch.

“I don’t know,” Blaine admits. “I mean, nothing’s set in stone.”

Kurt lets out an incredulous laugh. “What is happening?” Suddenly he straightens in his seat, face going hard. “It’s Sebastian, isn’t it?”

Now Blaine is the one left staring in disbelief. “No!”

“Come on. You’ve been so weird ever since he got here.” He stares Blaine down, daring him to deny it.

Blaine shakes his head. He feels like he’s been losing himself for months now; Kurt just hadn’t realized something was off until Sebastian’s presence made him take notice again. That was the thing about Sebastian, he always made Kurt pay attention. Selfishly, Blaine had liked that.

“It’s not about Sebastian,” he says for what feels like the dozenth time. “I just - I can’t keep doing this knowing you’re gonna break my heart.”

“But you _don’t_ know that!” Kurt says, leaning towards him, forcing Blaine to meet his eye. “I’m telling you, that’s not going to happen. I’ll never say goodbye to you, remember?”

“Then why does it feel like you already have?”

Kurt just looks at him with a now familiar exasperated confusion, the kind that always makes Blaine feel like he’s being crazy.

“Sometimes I feel like you don’t even like me,” he admits quietly, hating how it makes him sound.

“I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Kurt says with a helpless shake of his head.

Blaine nods. “I think that’s the problem.”

Kurt’s eyes are bright but he’s not going to cry, Blaine can see it in the determined set of his jaw. “Promise me you’re not doing this because of Sebastian. Promise me you’re not breaking up with me for _him_.”

Blaine gives a short laugh that comes out sounding more like a sob. It hadn’t felt real until this moment; part of him had clung to the hope that Kurt would ask for more time, that he would fight for him. Instead he’d asked this.

“I promise.” It was over.

He stands up, wiping his eyes with the palm of his hand. He can’t be here anymore. “You can tell Miss Pillsbury she can come back now,” he says, picking up his bag and heading out the door.

He half expects Kurt to call after him, to stop him, but he doesn’t. He lets him go.


	5. i think he's got it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian deals with the aftermath of The Break Up. 3x18 au

Sebastian’s pretty sure this has been the most stressful week of his life, which is saying something considering the past few months he’s had.

He’d never imagined Kurt would fuck things up with Blaine so badly; part of him still can’t believe that anyone, even Hummel, could be that stupid. Here he was, thinking he’d be stuck waiting months for them to fall apart long distance, and then without warning Kurt cheating on Blaine was next on the docket of neverending New Directions drama. Now any moment could be the one where he hears Kurt and Blaine broke up. Or made up. Hence the stress.

To make matters worse, he’s getting all his updates from Blaine himself, who continually talks about all the problems they’re having as if they’re only temporary, as if Hummel isn’t obviously making him miserable, as if Sebastian could possibly offer any advice except _dump him_. He’s glad Blaine trusts him enough to confide in him after everything he’s done but it’s honestly a bit depressing how willing he is to talk about Kurt, like it hasn’t even crossed his mind that Sebastian could possibly pose the slightest threat to his relationship. Surely he’s earned that consideration at least.

When Blaine and Kurt both disappear after lunch on Thursday, Sebastian assumes the worst. That insufferable song Hummel sang him had worked and now they’ve made up and are cutting class to celebrate together. He tries to console himself that he’s no worse off than he was last week before any of this drama started, but god did it sting to have gotten so close only for nothing to come of it.

He’s all ready to face the news, having settled on a sarcastic congratulations that hopefully won’t come off too bitter, but the next day Blaine is still missing while Kurt’s ghostly pale form is haunting the halls same as ever. Interesting.

The news reaches him during free period. He’s in the library, too preoccupied by Blaine’s absence to really get anything done, when Santana drops down in the seat opposite him, crossing her arms as she eyes him.

“I’m not sure if I should congratulate you or kick your ass.”

It’s embarrassing how his heart leaps at the words. “You mean-”

She nods. “I have it from Mercedes who got it straight from Berry who got it straight from Hummel himself. They’re done.”

He can’t stop the smile slowly spreading across his face as relief courses through him. Finally, the world makes sense again.

“Stop looking so smug or you actually will get your ass kicked,” she says, not threatening, more like she’s looking forward to the entertainment.

“Oh come on. It’s not like _I_ broke them up.”

She cocks her head at him. “Well, you sang that whole song.”

“Kurt also sang him a song,” he points out. “And cheated on him. So. Pretty sure it’s his fault.”

“Oh please, like you actually think texting is cheating.”

He shrugs. “Blaine does.”

“Ugh, he’s so dramatic,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “Look, I have no interest in Hummel’s love life but a lot of the losers in that club room do and it'll be way easier for them to blame you than him. So, just saying. Watch your back.”

She gives him a little smirk as she stands up, leaving Sebastian somewhat mystified. He thinks she was actually trying to be nice.

“Did you hear?” Trent asks when he gets to lunch. “Blaine and Kurt broke up.” He’s watching Sebastian with an amusing mixture of wariness and satisfaction.

The freshmen however are unambiguous in their excitement.

“You did it!” Tripp congratulates.

Sebastian frowns. “I didn’t do anything.”

Tripp and Skylar blink at him. “But the song…”

“Trent chose the song!”

“For Blaine! I didn’t know it would become such a thing,” Trent says miserably.

“Who cares what you did,” Skylar says impatiently. “What are you _going_ to do?”

“Ooh, prom’s coming up, you should ask him!” says Tripp.

Sebastian wrinkles his nose. “I’m not going to prom.”

“It’d be like the movies!” Tripp enthuses.

“The movies don’t involve being trapped in a sweaty gym with the McKinley student body.”

“Well you have to do something,” Skylar huffs. “He broke with his boyfriend for you.”

God, he wishes. “I can guarantee that’s not what happened.”

Blaine had definitely not been impressed by his performance. Pissed would be more accurate. He probably shouldn’t have done it but, hearing Hummel’s song and watching Blaine positively melt under it, he couldn’t resist making a bit of a scene. And Blaine’s only response was annoyance that he’d upset Kurt. At least he’d achieved that.

Though he doesn’t like to think it, it seems pretty obvious that Kurt was the one who broke things off. He can’t imagine why since even he must know that he can’t possibly do any better, but the unavoidable fact is Blaine is the one “out sick” while Hummel is here, sending Sebastian death glares across the cafeteria. And if it actually was Sebastian’s performance that had pushed Kurt to break up with him, it’s safe to say Blaine hates him now. All the ground he’s made up since the slushie incident will be lost and he can’t even apologize this time because he isn't sorry.

The way the freshmen are looking at him makes him feel like the dad in The Parent Trap staring down at two hopeful Lindsey Lohans. When had Skylar started gelling his hair like that? He'd be Blaine's mini-me if he wasn't one growth spurt away from surpassing him in height. “Blaine did not break up with Kurt for me,” he reiterates. “So please just be normal when you see him again.”

“You could still invite him to prom,” Tripp mutters.

“Did I ask?” Sebastian snaps. “Why do you even care?”

Skyler draws in a breath, looking deeply offended on his friend’s behalf. “You’ve been dragging us into this all year! Of course we’re invested now!”

“Okay, that’s not-” Sebastian starts before Skylar cuts him off again.

“And now after all this drama, you’re just giving up?”

“I’m not giving up anything,” he protests, though he knows he shouldn’t be indulging them. “They only broke up yesterday. We’re playing it cool, alright?”

The freshmen look somewhat appeased. Beside him Trent sighs.

“What?” Sebastian demands.

“Nothing. Better you than Kurt I suppose.”

Sebastian shakes his head, annoyed that they can all be so sure of the inevitability of him and Blaine when his own confidence has deserted him. His stomach twists at the memory of the scorn in Blaine’s voice when he’d told him Kurt didn’t deserve him. _And what, you do?_ Right now he can only hope that Blaine is still talking to him. Romance aside, senior year will be unbearable if they’re not even friends.

Several end of year tests were scheduled over the next week, including the AP Calc exam on Wednesday, which is probably what Sebastian should have been stressing about instead of the status of a relationship he’s not even in. He’s not too worried though, even with how distracted he’s been. He has a lot more time to study now that he’s in only one club, one in which no one expects him to lead or even really practice. He barely goes out anymore either - he’s avoided Scandals since the whole Karofsky thing and nowhere else is worth the drive. God, when did he become so boring?

He tries to text Blaine over the weekend but everything he writes looks at best insincere and at worst gloating so he gives it up. At least he knows Blaine will be back on Monday since they have a Spanish test.

The first class of the week they have together is Calc. Blaine is late and with every minute he doesn't show up, Trent gets more jittery.

“Oh my god, what if he’s not coming back? He’ll miss all his tests and flunk out and have to repeat junior year. This is the year _colleges_ look at.” He gasps. “He’ll miss Nationals.”

“Would you please calm down?” Sebastian says. “I can understand never wanting to see Hummel’s face again but Blaine’s not going to ruin his life over him.” Though now that he thinks about it he has some doubts. Blaine always had taken his relationship a lot more seriously than a high school romance warranted. He shakes off the thought. “Blaine’s late all the time.”

“You’re right,” Trent says, nodding vigorously. “We were always having to start Warbler meetings without him.”

Luckily, Blaine arrives before Trent can further infect Sebastian with his worries. He looks good; Sebastian had been half expecting a weepy mess but he’s as put together as ever, maybe even more so. His hair’s if possible even shinier and slicked down than usual. He doesn’t even glance at them, giving the teacher an apologetic smile as he quickly slides into a seat up front.

Trent turns in his seat to glare at him. “Did you do something?”

“Just the song,” Sebastian protests. “It’s not my fault if Hummel took it personally.”

“I hope he’s not mad at us,” Trent says, gazing at the back of Blaine’s head.

“He’s not mad at you,” Sebastian assures him, rolling his eyes. “He probably just wants to focus with the test coming up.”

He notices Mike Chang looking curiously between Blaine and the empty seat next to Sebastian where he usually sits. He catches Sebastian’s eye and questions him with a raise of his eyebrows. Sebastian shrugs and turns to his work, giving nothing away. He’s gotten familiar enough with the New Directions to know that Mike isn’t a gossip but he tells his girlfriend Tina everything and she’s one of the worst. If Kurt’s said anything about the breakup it hasn’t gotten back to Sebastian and Blaine’s been gone so at this point they must all be dying for info. He knows he is.

Blaine undoubtedly spends his morning getting pressed for details because the first thing he says when he joins them for lunch is, “I'm sure you guys have heard by now that Kurt and I have broken up. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sebastian is surprised that he’s there talking to them at all; he’d left Calc without a word and carefully avoided Sebastian’s gaze for all of Spanish. But then, they were taking a test that period and he can’t exactly blame Blaine for keeping his eyes on his paper. Still, it’s hard not to notice that Blaine hadn’t taken his usual lunch seat next to Sebastian and has instead put Trent between them.

The freshmen are watching them with open curiosity and concern and he gives them a pointed glare until they turn their fascination on their food.

“Can you believe Glee Club is canceled for the week when Nationals is so close?” Trent says after a few beats of awkward silence. “We haven’t even discussed our set list yet.”

“Well everyone’s got tests this week,” Blaine says, jumping gratefully on the proffered topic. “It’s nice of Mr. Schue to give us more study time.”

“I don’t think he was thinking of us at all,” Sebastian counters. “All he talked about when he announced it were Kurt and Rachel’s NYADA auditions.”

Blaine frowns and starts picking at his salad while someone kicks Sebastian under the table. Not undeserved - it had taken him all of a minute to bring up Kurt when he definitely knows better.

“Feeling ready for the Calc test?” Trent tries desperately.

It’s like that for the rest of the meal: Trent doing his best to keep up conversation while Blaine tries in vain not to look miserable. He responds politely whenever Sebastian addresses him and smiles and waves when he and Trent leave for their next class together, a clear attempt at normalcy that doesn’t fool him. When Blaine doesn’t show up in the library during free period it only confirms he’s avoiding him.

Santana and Brittany take notice of the empty space across from him and move to occupy it, twirling their ponytails and whispering behind their hands as they steal glances at him. He raises his eyebrows at this extreme lack of subtlety and Santana smirks back before whispering something to Brittany that makes her giggle. Sebastian is generally a fan of mean girl antics but he is not in the mood.

The next day is the same - Blaine definitely avoiding him while talking to him just enough to pretend he isn’t. Sebastian’s not going to let him get away with it forever but decides to give him until after the Calc test before forcing a confrontation. The NYADA auditions are that same day and there’s a good chance that once Hummel’s reemerged from that bubble there’ll be drama anyway.

At least they’re broken up, he reminds himself every time Blaine accidentally meets his eyes and hurriedly looks away. This is better, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Finn Hudson corners him in the hallway that afternoon, sparking the strongest fear response Sebastian’s felt since coming to this hellhole. As Kurt’s step-brother and a person Sebastian has photoshopped nude pictures of for blackmail purposes, if anyone really is going to beat him up it would be Finn.

But when he gets close he doesn’t loom over him, though he has the stature for it, and he sounds friendly, if a little awkward, as he asks, “Hey dude, you’re smart, right?”

“Smarter than you,” Sebastian responds automatically. “Sorry, bad habit. How can I help you?”

Finn looks like he’s regretting coming up to him, but powers on. “Puck needs to pass his European Geography test if he’s gonna graduate so a bunch of the guys are getting together to tutor him. And like, you’re European, so I thought you could help.”

“I mean, I lived in Europe for a bit...” Sebastian admits, wondering if Finn knows this or if he was just ineptly calling him gay.

“Uh, yeah, that’s why I’m asking. None of the rest of us have even been. Except Rory, but he mostly knows Ireland.”

Sebastian eyes him warily. This is almost definitely a trap. He’s gonna get lured outside to where Puckerman is waiting to toss him into a dumpster. But on the off chance it’s not, he probably should take this opportunity to get on Finn’s good side, if only because it’s sure to piss off Kurt. Besides, if it comes down to it he’s pretty sure he can outrun them. “I guess I could help out.”

Finn gives him a dopey grin. “Awesome, man! Choir room after school.”

When Sebastian arrives at the choir room, dragging his feet and regretting his burst of fear based altruism, it’s to find practically everyone but Puckerman waiting for him. When Finn said “a bunch of the guys,” it turns out he meant all of them, except Kurt, who as far as Sebastian can tell hasn’t had a non NYADA related thought all week. Even Blaine is there, his eyes widening when he sees Sebastian. There’s an empty seat next to him and Sebastian takes it.

“Hey,” he challenges.

“What are you doing here?” Encouragingly, Blaine sounds merely surprised rather than horrified.

“Apparently I’m what passes for an expert on European Geography in this school.”

“Ah, right. _Paris_ ,” Blaine says. It almost sounds teasing.

Finn spots him before he’s sufficiently recovered. “Good, we’re all here,” he says, turning from the whiteboard he’d been writing on and wheeling it closer to the group.

“Where’s Puck?” Sebastian asks. “Isn’t he who we’re tutoring?”

“Oh, no, we’re not tutoring today,” Finn explains. “We’re strategizing.” At Sebastian’s raised eyebrows he adds, “Puck doesn’t really like getting help from people so...” he taps the whiteboard, which contains a clumsily drawn diagram complete with labeled stick figures.

“So... what, we’re guerilla tutoring him?” Sebastian asks, trying to make sense of what he’s seeing.

“Uh, kinda rude to call him a gorilla,” Finn reprimands mildly. The other guys murmur in agreement.

Oh god. These are the ones who _don’t_ need tutoring.

Blaine seems to notice his distress, giving him a comforting pat on the arm while clearly trying not to laugh. It’s such a casual gesture, such a _boyfriend_ gesture, that Sebastian is utterly incapacitated. He’s pretty sure he’s seen Blaine do that exact same thing to Kurt.

“Alright, everyone listen carefully,” Finn says. “Puck's scheduled to arrive at the Schneider's pool at 2:00 pm, which means he should be there at 3:30. Sam, you're the driver, so... stay in the car.”

“Can I play with the radio?” Sam asks as it dawns on Sebastian they’re essentially planning a kidnapping.

Finn ignores him to assign Rory as lookout, tapping the appropriate stick figures as he continues, “Blaine, Mike and myself will triangulate a very carefully planned attack on Puck here, here and here.”

“Is that - is that a bear I'm hiding behind?” Blaine asks, leaning forward to study the whiteboard.

“No, no, it's a bush,” Finn says, pointing at it again.

“Looks like a bear,” Blaine says and now Sebastian’s the one trying desperately not to laugh.

“But it's not a bear, it’s a bush.”

“Maybe a shrub,” Rory offers from Blaine’s other side.

“What's the difference between a shrub and a bush?” Sam asks.

“What do I do?” Artie interrupts.

Finn grins. “Oh, that's the best part. You're going to be the bait. So, when Puck comes in the gate, Sebastian’s gonna push you right into the pool, and all of a sudden, we-”

“Wait, is that what’s happening?” Sebastian interrupts, looking at the diagram with fresh concern.

“Yeah, I was gonna have Artie roll himself in, but now that you’re here, this is way more convincing. Plus, it means you’ll be right there to pull him out in case we don’t get to you guys in time.”

Sebastian exchanges a dubious look with Artie on his left. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.”

“I also don’t know if I’m comfortable with that,” Artie agrees.

“This all seems a bit convoluted,” Sebastian says, turning back to Finn. “I mean, from what I know of Puckerman I’m betting we can just put some porn and beer under a box propped up with a stick and call it a day.”

Beside him, Blaine chokes back a laugh, trying to pass it off as a cough.

“Where we gonna get a box that big?” Sam asks.

Finn is shaking his head. “Solid plan B, but I worked pretty hard on this one, so we’re gonna...” he trails off as Puck himself enters the room, looking even more dead eyed than usual.

“You alright, dude?” Mike asks.

“Yeah, you look like you saw a ghost, man,” Finn says. “What's up?”

“Just saw my dad.”

From what Sebastian gathers, this is a rare occurrence. Apparently, the man had surprised him at his job and been such a pathetic loser that even Puck had been frightened by this glimpse at his potential future and was now committed to graduating.

“And to do that, I have to pass this damn European Geography test. Will you help me? Please?” He looks out at the group.

“Never leave a man behind,” Finn says for all of them and he and Puck bump fists.

As no one besides Sebastian had arrived at this meeting prepared for any actual tutoring and Puck seems overwhelmed anyway, they plan to meet back at the choir room the next afternoon after the NYADA auditions.

Sebastian honestly expects Blaine to bolt from his side the second he’s able, but his strange friendliness from the meeting continues and he lingers as the others wander out, waiting to walk with Sebastian.

“I take it you’re not avoiding me anymore,” Sebastian observes.

He’s gratified when Blaine doesn’t deny it, instead giving him a rueful smile. “Sorry. I was being stupid. I just didn’t want to feed the rumors.”

Sebastian frowns, questioning.

“I mean, you know, Kurt and I didn’t break up because of you and I didn’t want... anyone to think that.”

Sebastian is not pleased by the idea that Blaine was so afraid of people thinking there was something going on between them that he decided to avoid him altogether. Was he afraid _Sebastian_ would think that? Surely not.

Blaine continues, “But then Finn invited you to this thing and it made me realize I was just being paranoid. No one actually cares.”

“I cared,” Sebastian says, putting his hand on his chest, fake wounded. “You know, next time you’re worried you could maybe just... talk to me.” He speaks glibly, like he doesn’t want Blaine to take him seriously even though that is in fact exactly what he wants.

Blaine blinks at him, looking surprised but not displeased. He quickly laughs it off. “I think that can be arranged.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Just... please don’t say I told you so.”

Sebastian puzzles at this. “About what?”

“I don’t know. Any of it.”

“I don’t think I ever told you Kurt was going to break up with you,” Sebastian says, hoping Blaine will clarify with what he did tell him. You deserve better? It’d be nice if Blaine had realized he was right on that one.

“Kurt didn’t break up with me,” Blaine says, surprised and, interestingly, a little affronted. “I broke up with him.”

“Really?” Sebastian says, unable to hide his own surprise. “Sorry, you were just so adamant that you weren’t going to, I assumed...”

“I just said don’t say I told you so,” Blaine says, exasperated.

“I’d never,” Sebastian says innocently.

Blaine looks skeptical, probably because Sebastian can’t stop grinning. Blaine had broken up with Kurt, ergo, no longer wants to be with him. He obviously still has some hang-ups, but at least Sebastian won’t have to deal with him pining. He doesn’t think he could have handled that.

In any case, Blaine’s made it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it, so Sebastian changes the subject. “So you’re like, one of the bros, huh?” he says, tilting his head back towards the choir room.

This startles a laugh out of Blaine. “I guess. I’m usually in the gym at the same time as them so it just kinda happened.” He shrugs, looking a little embarrassed. “It’s actually kind of nice? I don’t know, I’ve never been in a group like that before.”

“Yeah, I get that.” At Blaine’s questioning look, he explains. “I’ve been on sports teams.” Honestly, he misses it. Blaine aside, he’d enjoyed being in a room of dumb, well meaning straight guys struggling to put a plan together.

“Right, I forget you’re a jock,” Blaine says in amusement. “You know, you’re welcome to join us in the gym whenever.”

Sebastian wrinkles his nose. “I’m pretty sure that gym is a health hazard.”

“Hasn’t killed me yet.”

“Yet being the operative word.”

Blaine grins. They’ve reached the parking lot, the sky a clear blue above them and a warm breeze rustling all the new green leaves. A perfect spring afternoon. He feels lighter than he has since he came to McKinley, since before the stupid Jackson-off when he’d ruined everything. He’d like to think that Blaine feels the same, that he’s not just imagining his smile’s a little bit brighter.

“Well... I’ll see you tomorrow,” Blaine says, lingering before heading off to his car.

“See you,” Sebastian returns and it’s another few seconds before either of them turns away.

Nearly all of the next day is taken up by the Calc test, either taking it or talking about it. Sebastian thinks he did pretty well, but maybe he’s just in a good mood.

After school, he and Blaine go to the library to work on their English essays until the NYADA auditions are over and it’s time to tutor Puck. Blaine is distracted the entire time, annoying Sebastian in more ways than one.

“Why don’t you just sneak in and watch the audition,” he demands as Blaine once again gazes off in the direction of the auditorium. “You’re not getting anything done here.”

“I don’t want to distract him,” Blaine mumbles, reluctantly turning back to his book.

All the more reason, Sebastian thinks.

Blaine is still jittery as they head towards the choir room after the auditions, brow furrowed with worry. He spots Tina coming out of the girls bathroom down the hall and immediately runs up to her.

“Tina! You were helping Kurt with his audition, right?”

“Yeah...” she says slowly, with a wary glance between him and Sebastian.

“Well? How did it go?”

She visibly softens under Blaine’s eagerness. “He was incredible.”

Blaine smiles, letting out a relieved sigh. “Music of the Night?”

“No, he changed it last minute to ‘Not the Boy Next Door.’” She gives him an encouraging smile. “It was fantastic. Honestly, I think the break up actually helped his performance.”

“Oh. Good,” Blaine says, looking a little stung as Tina takes her leave. Sebastian frowns.

“Not much tact, that one,” he observes once she’s out of earshot.

Blaine snorts. “You’re one to talk.”

“I know how to be tactful, I just occasionally choose not to be.”

“You know that’s worse, right?” He shrugs, smiling to himself. “I’m glad she said it. I’d never forgive myself if I thought I messed up his audition for him.”

Sebastian doesn’t like the sound of that.

By the time they reach the choir room the guys have already gathered a motley collection of globes, maps, and textbooks with Puck at their center, looking grim.

Finn is the last to arrive, lumbering in a few minutes late, looking profoundly lost. Sebastian doesn’t even question it, the expression just seems so natural on his face, but apparently the people who know him better view it as cause for concern.

“Dude, what happened?” Puck asks.

“I thought Kurt’s audition went well,” Blaine says, a note of panic in his voice.

“Huh?” Finn says. “No, Kurt’s fine. It’s Rachel. She totally choked.”

Shocked silence greets the words.

“Like... on her tongue?” Puck questions finally.

“No, like she forgot the words. Then the scary judge lady said it was over.” He shakes his head. “I don’t get it. She’s sung that song like a million times.”

Sebastian admits to some surprise himself. Rachel operated with such complete confidence in her talent that, while very annoying, made it hard to doubt she’d get where she wanted to go. Turns out she wasn’t so special after all.

“Hey, if you need to like... go be with her or whatever, that’s cool,” Puck offers.

“Yeah man, we totally got this tutoring thing,” Sam assures him.

Finn shakes his head. “She said she wants to be alone.” With a determined stride he goes and grabs a textbook. “Right now, the most important thing is to get you past this test.”

It quickly becomes apparent that Sam was wrong. They do not totally got this tutoring thing. It had seemed ridiculous that Finn had gathered eight people to teach one guy, but Sebastian soon realizes they’re going to need every man. No one else has even taken the class, which isn’t too surprising since it sounds both entirely useless and extremely boring. Puckerman seems to have viewed it as a scheduled naptime, when he bothered going at all. Since none of them are familiar with what’s going to be on the test they have to learn the material themselves before passing it on to Puck, who of course has no idea which units the test is even covering.

After the chaos of everyone talking over each other as they tried figure out exactly how little they knew, Artie takes charge, assigning everyone a different topic to focus on. It’s decided that they’ll each take turns tutoring Puck, giving the others time to learn their section and form a plan of attack.

Strategies vary. Finn and the Christian hippie, whose name Sebastian refuses to learn, just read random facts straight out of the textbook like they’re the coolest thing they’ve ever heard in an attempt to trick Puck into getting excited about European weather patterns. Artie and Mike are better at identifying key points but Puck’s eyes glaze over every time they attempt to explain them. At least they’re better off than the Irish kid, who’s accent Puck seems to find completely impenetrable.

Blaine makes a ton of brightly colored flash cards and adopts a cheerful, encouraging attitude that would probably make him a favorite at the local kindergarten. While Sebastian respects the decision to treat Puck like a five year old, he doesn’t respond well to the handling. Sebastian himself mixes in some non textbook knowledge in an attempt to appeal to Puck’s interests (nude beaches are here, this famous hot lady is from here, this type of alcohol originated here), which at least manages to hold his attention.

Then there’s Sam, who’s dyslexic and quickly gives up on tutoring altogether, focusing instead on boosting morale. Sadly, this makes him the most productive out of all of them. Despite the multitude of approaches, nothing they do gets a single fact to stick in Puckerman’s brain, the existence of which Sebastian is seriously beginning to doubt. Before he knows it, it’s dark outside and Sam and Mike are carrying in pizza and liter bottles of coke and Mountain Dew.

It’s then that Sebastian realizes that they’d never set a time limit on this tutoring session. They’re not going home for dinner or calling it a day - they’re sticking it out until Puck has all the information he needs to pass this goddamned test. In other words, “Oh, we’re gonna be here all night, huh?”

Blaine gives him a wry smile, glancing over at the other guys trying to talk to Puck through mouthfuls of pizza. “You don’t have to stay, you know. You did your part, no one would blame you if you left.

Sebastian groans and stretches in his chair. “It’s too late for that. I’m in this now. Besides,” he adds, leaning back with a grin. “How could I pass up spending the night with you?”

Blaine scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he’s got that flustered little smile Sebastian had been so charmed by when they’d first met.

Everyone, Puck included, gets increasingly frustrated as the hours pass with little progress. Whenever they stop to quiz him on what he’s learned he’s clearly just guessing, only getting any answers at all by chance. Blaine soon drops the kindergarten teacher act, opting instead for ruthless practicality: these are the facts you need to know, forget them as soon as the test is done just learn them now. Sebastian meanwhile hits his limit for charity and gets increasingly condescending and mean.

“You’re being kind of a dick,” Finn tells him once Sebastian’s left off to give Artie another go.

“Yeah, I’m trying to piss him off so he’s motivated to prove me wrong.”

It’s total bullshit but Finn looks impressed. “That’s actually smart, man.”

“Thank you.”

The situation continues to devolve as people begin to crash from the sugar and caffeine in the soda. When 3 am rolls around they’re doing a rock and roll cover of ‘The Rain in Spain’ to celebrate Puck getting one single answer correct. Or maybe he dreamed that. He was pretty delirious by that point.

He wakes up sometime later with his face pressed into Blaine’s shoulder. He sways upright, too tired to wonder at it.

“Your sweater’s really soft,” he says. Clearly his brain had called it a night hours ago.

“Thanks!” Blaine beams, looking more pleased by that idiocy than he had by any compliment Sebastian’s ever given him. To be fair, he’s obviously half asleep himself, eyes hardly opening between blinks. He looks down at his sweater and plucks at it with a small smile.

It’s the same gray striped one he’d been wearing the first time Sebastian ever saw him. He remembers it so clearly: that initial spark of interest, how Blaine’s smile had faded as their eyes met and he tried and failed to place him only to return in full force when Sebastian reached out to pull him into the dance. All these months later and that spark still hadn’t died.

Sebastian lets his head fall back on Blaine’s shoulder. It's the most attractive surface in the vicinity and Blaine hadn’t seemed to mind.

“Come on, man, focus,” says Finn, the only one left standing.

“Give it up, dude,” Puck complains, sprawled out in his chair, head hanging over the back. “If I don’t know it by now, I never will.”

Sebastian, who had long given Puck up as a lost cause, thinks that’s the smartest thing he’s said all day.

Finn is more stubborn. “Wrong attitude. You’ve still got like six hours until the test. You can do it.”

“The only thing I can do now is sleep. If I don’t pass out now I’ll probably do it during the test.”

All the boys awake enough to be following the conversation perk up at this. It sounds like they might finally be admitting defeat.

Finn is wavering when the Irish kid, completely unconscious, slides out of his seat and hits the floor with a thud. Finn sighs. “Alright. Let’s get some rest.”

“Oh thank god,” Sebastian says, getting to his feet. He pulls a sleepy Blaine up with him. “Quick, before he changes his mind.”

The other boys follow with varying speed. Artie’s already zoomed out of the room entirely.

“Good luck on your test,” Blaine tells Puck as they pass.

Sebastian waits until they’re out of earshot before saying, “You know he’s failing, right?”

“Miracles happen everyday,” Blaine replies sagely, which Sebastian recognizes as his polite way of agreeing.

Sebastian rolls up to the Lima Bean approximately five hours later, having showered, changed, and grabbed what sleep he could. He’s already missed most of his morning classes and wouldn’t have bothered going in at all if he hadn’t had assignments due. He has no doubt all the other guys are skipping too though the only one he encounters at the Bean is Blaine, looking obnoxiously chipper as he sips his coffee.

“How many have you had?” Sebastian asks, perturbed.

“Just three,” Blaine shrugs.

He’d been on his way out but stays and waits with Sebastian, graciously allowing him to steal a few gulps of his coffee to tide him over while he’s in line.

They walk into school together, coffees in hand, laughing at the memory of Sam and Mike accidentally hitting Puck in the face while playing catch with one of the globes. Of course the first people they come across are Kurt and Finn, Blaine’s laughter immediately dying at the sight of them. Their conversation, which given their worried expressions was almost definitely about Rachel, dies too.

Blaine recovers first. “Congratulations on your NYADA audition,” he offers awkwardly. “I heard it went great. I’m really happy for you.”

Kurt accepts this with a terse nod. His eyes flick between Blaine and Sebastian. “I see you didn’t waste any time.”

The smile Blaine had been forcing drops. “We’re friends,” he says in a tone that suggests this is far from the first time they’ve been over this. It’s hardly a surprise to Sebastian - if Hummel wasn’t threatened by him he was doing something wrong - but there’s something encouragingly mechanical about Blaine’s insistence, like it’s out of habit rather than based in actual feeling.

Blaine is looking at him to confirm. “Right,” Sebastian agrees. “Friends.” He doesn’t have to fake his satisfaction, he’s glad he and Blaine are friends. Besides, if the Warblers accounts were correct, Blaine and Kurt had themselves been friends for quite some time before they started dating.

These denials only serve to make Kurt look even more righteously angry. Blaine holds his ground though, meeting Kurt’s icy glares with something close to exasperation.

“Yeah, we’re all friends,” Finn says, smiling in an attempt to relieve the tension. He claps Kurt on the back and begins to lead him away. “We’ll catch up with you guys later.”

Blaine’s shoulders slump as he watches them walk off in whispered argument.

“You okay?” Sebastian asks.

“Yeah. I mean, of course things are going to be awkward for awhile. I just have to get used to it.” He looks worryingly forlorn.

“You’re not going to start avoiding me again?” Sebastian says, half joking. He thinks he gets it now: Blaine hadn’t broken up with Kurt for Sebastian, but Kurt somehow doesn’t understand that any better than the freshmen did. It’s no wonder Blaine had tried to distance himself from him. He’s honestly not sure why he stopped.

Blaine is shaking his head. “I like hanging out with you,” he says simply. He laughs, looking a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I think you’re stuck with me.”

Sebastian grins. “You promise?”


End file.
